Win Today

#238 | Winning Is: Aligning Goals & Pursuits To Values

• Season 6

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Excellence isn't a binary outcome.

Brad Stulberg breaks down his mastery + mattering framework and shares how to pursue ambitious goals, handle failure, and build sustainable success without tying your identity to outcomes.

📘 Get Brad’s new book The Way of Excellence on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CRJQ5J2P

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Win Today. This show is crafted for those who want to win in every aspect of their lives. Every week you will learn from a renowned thought leader that will share a piece of a winning playbook that you can incorporate into your life. If this show has a positive impact on you and you see value in it, please share it with somebody and leave a rating and review so we can help more people win. No doubt, excellence has an ineffable quality, but it also has an empirical one, which means you can define it and map out its attainment. When you do, the result is involved engagement in something worthwhile that supports your values and goals. Excellence combines mastery and mattering. Now think about that definition of excellence. So you didn't hear being the best at something, being at the top of the leaderboard, having a certain amount of money, or even any sort of binary outcome. It's being involved in something that is deeply meaningful to you. That is the definition as defined by Brad Stolberg in his most recent book, which just came out last week, The Way of Excellence, which is soon to be a Wall Street Journal, bestseller, incredible book. Brad is one of my favorite authors, and he was on last week's episode number 237. This is the shortened excerpt of Winning Is where we get to learn about what winning means to high performers and thought leaders all over the world. I have yet to find out, and even spoiler alert with Brad, I have yet to hear rather any high performing thought leader that's been on this podcast say that winning is something that is a binary outcome. What I love about Brad is he does such a great job promoting non-dual thinking, but also encouraging people to go on a quest, an inward and outward quest as it relates to your goals by aligning them to values, things that are of real substance versus something that may sound cool or some sort of metric. His work is, I would say, this isn't just a book that you read, his work is one that to really absorb you must go within yourself for the words to make sense. So we often talk about excellence and winning, and especially that we're now in a new month of the new year. This is still very fresh on people's minds. So I recommend that you check out the way of excellence and for the pursuits that you go on this year, that you connect them to something more deep than the actual desired outcome itself. Because when it's connected to something that is deeper within, for instance, don't just run a marathon. But hey, if running a marathon is something that connects to a value of fitness and an example that you want to set for your family to also be fit and have a and promote longevity, great. Now we're actually doing something that connects to a value versus just doing a thing. So absorb, be excellent in 2026, check out Brad's work, and here we go.

SPEAKER_01:

But if I ask you what is winning to you, how would you describe that?

SPEAKER_02:

Winning is giving something your all, leaving it out there, laying it on the line in a way that aligns with your values, in in a way that you're proud of. And sometimes the scoreboard's gonna be in your favor, hopefully, more often than not. Sometimes the scoreboard's not gonna be in your favor, but if you keep coming back and stepping to the arena and playing again, then ultimately you're winning the infinite game, which is you're becoming a better person.

SPEAKER_01:

If I asked Brad one or two decades ago that same question, would that have been the response that you gave?

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe one decade ago. Two decades ago, I'm not so sure.

SPEAKER_01:

It's always interesting, especially those that that have an athletic background, that I'll ask that question too. I had a I had a sports psychologist on from Minnesota a few weeks ago. She's a performance coach for the Minnesota Vikings and a former track standout athlete. She mentioned that winning to her a decade prior, based off her current age now, would have been the time on the track and whether or not she won that race because at the time she was the top track athlete coming out of the state of Iowa. So I always love to see just what is it to somebody now? And and I've not found a single person that has mentioned an outcome-based response. It's pretty, it's pretty fun asking this question.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a great question. I think that in high school, certainly, it would have been uh, you know, winning a state championship or getting a a scholarship to play football would have been winning. Um so I don't know, three decades ago, then yeah, it would have been something very different. Um I also think that back to things being able to coexist, you can have a secondary goal. So I answered what winning is, but then you could ask me, all right, well, then what are some outcomes that you want to see? And then I'd say, well, I want this book to be on the New York Times bestseller list. I want to deadlift 550 pounds. Um, I want to uh I mean, those are really like the only two outcome goals, right? My goals around family and parenting. They're they don't have clear outcomes. And I still care deeply about those outcomes. But that's not how I define winning. Um and I think that oftentimes what happens in sports psychology is like the pendulum can shift so far away from outcomes to like process, process, process, become a better person. And yeah, like that's at the top of the hierarchy, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to have more points than the other person on the scoreboard or wanting to get the promotion or wanting to hit the bestseller list or wanting to break 100,000 downloads, whatever the number is. Like it's good to want those metrics. I think sometimes if you don't want those metrics, it's because you're scared to fail. And it's better to really want them and risk failure. However, again, that's not at the top of the hierarchy. The top of the hierarchy is about giving it your all, becoming a better person. That's a level underneath that.

SPEAKER_01:

On the note of, and I appreciate that that you brought that up because at times I often wonder, should we even have so many outcome-driven, we'll call it secondary goals? Yeah. But I love that you mentioned, hey, that like if you you should. That means you care. That means it's really important. That's what I just heard. On the topic of failure, do you see failure for failure? Or is there an alternate definition in your mind for that as well?

SPEAKER_02:

It's the shortest chapter in the book, is the chapter on failure. Um, because I think all this stuff has been written on failure, and much of it's very good on failing forward, on learning from failure, uh, on failure being necessary, um, on nobody getting away without failure. And and I agree with all of that. And I think that in the moment, failure hurts and it sucks, especially if you gave something your all. And it's okay to let it hurt, and it's okay to have it suck. And the love of the game, whatever the game may be, has got to be bigger than the pain of failure. And then you just keep going. And sometimes you keep going later that day, sometimes you keep going later that week. If it's a failure at game seven of the World Series or in the Olympic final, maybe it takes a month before you pick yourself up and get going again. But I think we over-intellectualize failure a lot instead of just saying failure sucks, it's inevitable. Learn from it if you can, let it hurt, let it sting, and then just get back to work.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, keep rolling. Brad, two more for you. One, what is the best way for us to support you, show you love, and be be evangelist of your of your mission in in this coming year?

SPEAKER_02:

The the best way is definitely to grab a copy of the the new book, The Way of Excellence. Uh, you can get it wherever you get books, get it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble Bookshop, your local bookseller, um, and just to please enjoy it, read the book, wrestle with it, try to apply it to your own life. Uh, if you find it resonant, share it with your colleagues, your teammates, your family, your friends. Um I I really think that yes, there's the book is really kind of like a process goal, but the ultimate goal is redefining excellence and reclaiming excellence. Uh, and that's got to be a lot more than me and a lot more than this book. It's gonna be everyone reading it, engaging with it, and sharing it.

SPEAKER_01:

Everyone get the book. And last one, Brad, as opposed to the three question rapid fire, one elevator question. What's how can how can we start our journey of excellence today? What's one step we can take? How many floors do I have in the elevator? You get you get one floor. Oh, one floor. That's they're they're they're tall floors.

SPEAKER_02:

That's quick. Um I think reflect on your values and reflect on your goals and see if they're aligned. And if they're not, ask yourself have my values changed or do I have the wrong goals? And if you don't have a goal that aligns with your values, don't freak out about that. The world is overwhelming. It's chaotic. The subtitle of this book is literally um a guide to true greatness and deep satisfaction in a chaotic world. Like, don't feel bad if you don't have a big goal, but maybe consider having one. Maybe consider what that would do for your physical health, for your mental health, for your spiritual health, um, and in and try to find something that aligns with those values where you care about the outcome on the scoreboard, but even more so, you care about being a different, better kind of person.

SPEAKER_01:

I love it. Brad, as always, thank you so much not only for the opportunity today, but thank you for how you serve the world and how you are redefining, helping redefine what excellence really means, and so that we can craft our own definition and build a meaningful relationship with it and win today. Thank you so much.

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Ryan Cass

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