Win Today
Win Today is a performance enhancing podcast filled with actionable insights and inspiration to come out on top in life. Through captivating interviews and solo episodes, a powerful tool is created and given to listeners to be able to push through any situation in life.
Hosted by Ryan Cass, he delivers messages that align to his purpose of helping people establish a foundation for sustained success, break trends of adversity, and chart desirable courses for life. Win Today!
Win Today
#216 | Beyond Grit: How To Build Confidence Like Elite Athletes Ft. Dr. Cindra Kamphoff
“Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s a skill you can train.”
Do elite athletes ever doubt themselves? Absolutely—and what sets them apart isn’t the absence of negative thoughts, but how they respond. Dr. Cindra Kamphoff, founder of the Mentally Strong Institute and trusted coach for the Minnesota Vikings and USA Track and Field, shares powerful frameworks for building confidence, silencing the inner critic, and redefining what it means to win. This conversation blends science, personal stories—including her experience at the Boston Marathon bombing—and practical tools you can use to perform at your best.
Key Takeaways:
- True mental toughness comes from responding differently to negative thoughts, not avoiding them.
- Confidence is a skill that can be trained through frameworks like “Learn, Burn, and Return.”
- Redefining “winning” and practicing authenticity unlocks peak performance in sports, business, and life.
Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
Keep in touch below!
We might think that all elite athletes are 100% confident all the time, but that's actually not true, that just they're human, just like we are. And I love this acronym by Daniel Amen. The acronym is Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTS, and I love just using that because I wish I would have known this in college that the thoughts that I choose you know are the thoughts I have in my mind aren't always the ones I choose, but I get to choose if I'm going to listen to them or not. And just like them, you know, just like we do, we have automatic negative thoughts. And I love this quote by Joe Montana. You know, legendary quarterback for the 49ers, and he said confidence is a very fragile thing. It is, it's like a thermometer. And so nobody I've ever worked with at the elite level has said to me Cinder, I am a hundred percent confident all the time because it's not. It's not true. What I would say is what the best do to build their confidence is they do realize it's a choice.
Speaker 2:Do hard things help one person. It's a choice. Do hard things, help one person, Be good and do good. Live a life of discipline and you will always win. You have all the tools that you need to succeed.
Speaker 2:Welcome to win today. Thank you so much for tuning in. My name is Ryan Cass and I am your host. My purpose in this world is to help push people further and harder than they believe possible and become unshakable in what matters most to them in their lives. Every week, you're going to learn from either myself or a renowned expert in their field, and we're going to unveil pieces of our playbook to help you win today.
Speaker 2:Please, if you love this show, subscribe and share it with somebody that will benefit from it. Let's dig in. If your dreams don't scare you, well then they aren't big enough, and that's something that our guest today embodies better than anyone I know. We have Dr Sindra Kampoff with us today, who has spent multiple decades helping elite athletes and business leaders enhance their mental edge through a few of her ventures. She is the founder of the Mentally Strong Institute, where she has worked with iconic teams such as the Minnesota Vikings and the USA Track and Field Team, and she is also a bestselling author of multiple books, one that we'll talk about today, which is Beyond Grit. Cendra, welcome, it's an honor to have you.
Speaker 1:Ryan, congratulations on the podcast. It's incredible and I know that you know this, but this is actually my favorite quote you just started with is like if your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough, because I actually think we all need really scary dreams to keep going and moving towards.
Speaker 2:I may or may not have found that doing some homework on you and I saw that on LinkedIn and it's always a, it's always my, my mission to honor the guests and and do homework is one way to do that.
Speaker 1:So when, I saw that.
Speaker 2:I loved seeing that. Before we dig into a lot of the, what I really would love to understand the why and when. I have the opportunity to speak with people that are in the business of helping people in the way that you do, in the business of helping people in the way that you do, in really gaining a mental edge and unlocking high performance that exists and resides within all of us. Yes, they didn't just wake up one day and come to this decision that this is what I want to do. This is my vocation. There's usually something deeper that is fueling that. So how did we get to where we are today and what was the catalyst or series of events that ultimately put you to where you are, working with the best of the best and inspiring them and fueling their minds?
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for asking that question, ryan. I think that my why and my purpose is very deep. It starts from when I was in high school and I grew up in Iowa, and my senior year I ran the fastest mile in the state of Iowa and so, you know, had a lot of success in high school and I expected to get to the next level and become an All-American, which is the top in the country, and even an Olympian. But when I got to college, that's actually where I really struggled with the mental game. It was like everyone was just as fast as me. I thought that the more I beat myself up, the better I would do. But now I know that the research shows the opposite, that compassion with yourself is actually the way to get ahead. And I just constantly beat myself up throughout my college career and, as a result, you know, wasn't even close to becoming an All-American, almost wanted to quit, just like, really struggled with my own mental health, and that's where I started learning about performance in sports psychology. That's where I started learning about performance and sports psychology and I, you know, at that time there wasn't any like podcasts. There wasn't any tangible books that you really could read. It was kind of hard to find information and it was hard to like distill the theory down into really practical tools, and so my book Beyond Grit is very practical, it's easy to read. I had a coach actually I worked with a team today and the coach said like it's the easiest book I've ever read around mental performance and like I was just honored that she said that because it's the book I wish I had, you know, when I was in college. So that's kind of like the first crucible moment that led me just to study this field and get a PhD in it. And then, about 12 years ago, I had another major crucible moment. So after I finished my PhD, I was a college professor at Minnesota State and I still teach there, but it was full time college professor at the time and and, honestly, wasn't really getting out there much with my message or I felt like I was playing small, you know, and really didn't have these big courageous dreams. Well, I did have big courageous dreams but I kept on like getting my own way around them and just, you know, thinking that I didn't have the skills or it wasn't something that I could do.
Speaker 1:In 2013, I was, I got back into running and was running several marathons every year and ran the Boston Marathon and, as you know, ryan, but as the listeners probably know, what happened in 2013 is there was a bomb at the marathon and I could detail what that was like. I was basically a block away and had just finished the race and really was just excited to celebrate because it was my fastest marathon I had completed at that point and just felt like I completely dominated the race from a mental, mental perspective, right, I just really didn't even want that race to end. It was just beautiful and amazing and um, but then you know that after, obviously, the bomb happened and, honestly, I didn't really think I was going to get home to my two boys. I didn't. I didn't know if the next, you know, the next day, if I'd even, you know, was there potentially a bomb in our hotel because we were just right next to the finish line, and so that whole day, um, I just remember asking myself some really huge questions that day, like what difference do I make and why do I do what I do? And, you know, am I really playing as big as I could be? And after quite a bit of reflection, you know, and honestly, those were just the questions that came through my mind and I decided I was playing really small and I wanted to work with the Minnesota Vikings, I wanted to write a book, I wanted to become a speaker, but all of that was really, really scary. And so after the marathon I just came back and every day just tried to do something every day.
Speaker 1:That, honestly, was just a little bit scary, and I think that's ultimately what's allowed me now to, you know, work with some of the top teams and athletes in the country and have a robust team. Um, we're at the mentally strong Institute and we work with leaders and executives and athletes and teams. And I don't think if I would have experienced those two moments in my life like I believe everything happens for us, not to us. And uh and that's a Byron Katie quote, you know I love her Like I believe everything happens for us, not to us. And that's a Byron Katie quote, you know I love her. But she says what if everything happens for you and not to you? And I believe that.
Speaker 2:Got this Byron Katie book right here and actually how I came to discover Byron Katie? Your story, Sindra, is making me think a lot about my friend, Chris Doris, who is a mental performance coach. He had a dream that he wanted to work with golfers and he was at Arizona State getting his master's in sports psychology and he was having this conversation with himself how the hell am I going to be a mental performance coach to a bunch of golfers? And he was scared.
Speaker 1:Now.
Speaker 2:I want to dive in a little bit more on what the conversation was with yourself, but more so the action of you. Get this whole new perspective shift about life through a tragic event at the Boston Marathon 2013. It's tough not to think about that, even walking down Boylston Street, having ran the marathon multiple times, because you and I know, and many runners know, that that marathon and those final two turns on Hereford and Boylston are sacred, they're iconic, and that happened. Then this thought of working with the Vikings comes into play. Then the fear comes in. What do some of these actions that scare you look like and what are the conversations going on in your mind and what are some of the things that you're learning along the way as you're just stepping into this fear of the unknown?
Speaker 1:What a great question, I think that day, like those were the questions that went through my mind, you know, like why am I still here? What difference do I make? Why do I do what I do? And it was wild because, you know, after a really great marathon, you want to celebrate and none of us were celebrating. We didn't even eat dinner, you know like there was. You know, like we're just kind of in survival mode for a while as we kind of figured out what was going on. And, um, I think, when I came back, a few of the things I did was I read a book called the Power of Purpose by Richard Leiter.
Speaker 1:He's a Minnesota author, I live in Minnesota, and so I wanted to really figure out what my purpose was. And his research shows, when we understand our purpose, we live up to seven to ten years longer and that it's really vital for our health and wellness and our well-being. And you know, I just decided that, like I, you know, I had these big aspirations, but I think my head trash was telling me things like, you know, you didn't play football, you know. Or sometimes when I would tell people my goals, like to work in football or to work with a pro team. You know they. Sometimes when I would tell people my goals like to work in football or to work with a pro team you know they'd be like, yeah, good luck with that, you know. And so I had to really just listen to my own inner voice and I had to keep resetting, writing my goals down and saying, no, this is what I'm going to do. And I think so many times we listen to what other people say instead what we really truly believe about ourselves.
Speaker 1:And it's, you know, for me, my work in football it started actually about right after the marathon. I started working with our college football team, minnesota State, and they started implementing the mental game and then one of the players named Adam Thielen, who maybe you know of, introduced me to the Vikings. So it's like you never know what can happen. And now I work with. You know it's the fall season, so last week I was working with three top college football teams just all over the US and it's a blast because I love the energy of football and I think it's probably like you know, people are like who is this woman here? You know I surprise them, I think.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love hearing how people make their dreams play out, because in hearing it and seeing it and feeling it, because I'm feeling it come off you, even though we're we're connected via internet and I'm in South Carolina and you're in Minnesota, I can feel it the passion, the energy, the excitement. All of that to me, and I and I it's my wish that this serves the exact same way for listeners is it shows that the possibilities we have for our life are A endless yes B. You can't spell possibilities without a possible. So these things, our dreams, are possible, and you're a living example of that bowl and you're a living example of that.
Speaker 2:I would love to understand, as we talk about, one of the top qualities for the best of the best and you've referenced this study many times from angela duckworth is that they they possess grit grit beyond the normal measure of humans. They possess an upstanding level of grit which we can cultivate for ourselves. You have your book Beyond Grit and in there there are 10 practices that we can take to develop our grit, muscle and train and perform like these elite athletes and business leaders do. So can you help us better understand what are those core practices and what does it look like to help build our grit muscles so that we can make our dreams possible.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and so thank you so much for just introducing Angela Duckworth's work. So grit is having passion and purpose for your very long-term goals, and we did a study last year where we interviewed professional athletes about how they developed their grit, and it's interesting. What we found is that their grit came from overcoming the most difficult moment in their lives right. For them it was like a seizing ending injury or a parent's divorce or their own cancer, and so when we think about you know the best of the best, and I think the examples in my life are even ways that I've tried to better understand my passion through these difficult moments, and I find that the best athletes and leaders in the world they make sure that they are using those crucibles as a way to move forward, and the way that they're understanding that adversity is key, and so grit and difficult moments actually help us shape who we are today. So the book is called Beyond Grit because that's the first practice, and we know some research shows that grit has been described as the number one predictor of our performance, which is we know it's like a top predictor. The second practice is purpose and understanding why you're here, and I think about like today I was speaking to a team and it's like I still think about me in college and the struggles I had, and it makes me really stay passionate about my work.
Speaker 1:Number three is about mastering your thoughts. So this one is all about what are you putting in your mind and are you listening to the automatic negative thoughts or talking to yourself powerfully, which is key to get to your goals. Number four is about self-awareness, so this means like understanding yourself. What are your triggers, what are your strengths? Can you keep just paying attention to the ways that you get in your own way and intervene with yourself?
Speaker 1:Five is dominate the controllables. This one is all about focusing on what we can control, because it is so easy to get stuck in the economy or your members of your team or people saying that you can't do it. Number six is about owning the moment, and we know peak performance happens in the present moment, not in the past or future. Number seven is all about choosing empowering emotions like gratitude and confidence, and how can you cultivate that in yourself? And eight is about authenticity.
Speaker 1:This one is also a practice, and that just means like showing up as your true self, which is a practice and, honestly, very hard, particularly if you feel judged. Number nine is about living and letting go. This is, ryan, the most difficult practice that I find people struggle with, and I can talk a little bit about that if you'd like. And then number 10 is about choosing courage over comfort, and this one is all about doing things that are a little bit scary to grow your muscle of courage and to help you reach your big dreams, because it's so easy to just give in and say you know, that's not for me, but we got to keep on resetting our courage muscle.
Speaker 2:I love those and I wish we could dive into all of them, but what I was as you were saying them, I was thinking in my head as well. Okay, what are the two to three that people struggle with the most? Or as, as they hear it, it may come across easier said than done. Hey, show up as your authentic self. You and I can say that to each other, and it'll land Now. There was probably a point in our time, in our lives or I'm certain, at least for myself, that you could have said that and say what the heck does that even mean?
Speaker 1:How am I even?
Speaker 2:supposed to know? So can we focus on eight and nine and let's start with authenticity? And what is it that makes that difficult for people to grasp?
Speaker 1:So that's a great question. So authenticity is the practice of showing up as yourself, and I think it starts with understanding like what are your strengths when you most come alive? What does that look like and feel like when you are at your best? What does that look like and feel like? And you know the barriers to showing up as our authentic self is judgment of self, judgment of others, and we know that the more that you judge yourself, the more likely you judge others. Comparison is another barrier to authenticity, is another barrier to authenticity, and I think what's powerful about that is once you get clear on what it is actually to be yourself, right, what does that look like? What's it feel like? Can you practice showing up as yourself in moments that matter most to you?
Speaker 1:And about 10 years ago I was actually at a Tony Robbins event and I love going to Tony events because they really do fuel me and help me reset. And I was at this event and someone said to me Sindra, your energy is your superpower. And I was like it was this stranger who said this to me and I realized at that moment that I had been kind of hiding my energy, that maybe especially because I work with a lot of, like, male teams that maybe, maybe, like you know, the my energy made me too feminine or too, I don't know, I'm not sure what my perception was, but that person gave me permission to really show up as more of my authentic self with my energy, and I'm so grateful for that stranger. I wish I would remember that person's name, because sometimes you know, when we are in these events where we're truly ourselves, like pay attention, what has led you to that, and I think for me it was.
Speaker 1:You know what has led you to that, and I think for me it was. You know, less trash talk and just fully being present in the moment. And I think what's most powerful is ask people around you. You know what? What does it look like to for me to be my true self? And then you know, also, like paying attention to that judgment in your head and quieting, softening that inner voice, reminding yourself like you're just enough, the way you are.
Speaker 2:Wow, is there a particular question that someone should ask themselves so that they can confirm, or rather have a better understanding of what it even means to know that they're showing up as their authentic self? Now, I love what you mentioned about we can go and ask a third party hey, what does it look like when I'm showing up as my true self, so really getting their experience of you? But if we're going to look inside so that I can tell you, hey, sindra, when I'm my authentic self, I am XYZ, is that the question that someone should ask? Is it as simple as when I am my authentic self, I am dot dot dot. Or are there different introspective questions and inventory we can take to better understand that?
Speaker 1:question that comes to my mind is when you are, when you feel most alive, what does that look like and feel like to you? You know, so when you're most alive, how does that feel in your body? And then how would other people describe you when you're most alive? Because I think when you're most alive that shows your authenticity. And you know when you think about the barriers. We just conducted this national research study on confidence that people can download at ConfidenceStudycom and it was fascinating.
Speaker 1:One of the most startling results from the study that I couldn't believe is that one in two Gen Z-er. So a Gen Z-er is the ages of 18 to 29. So one in two consistently or frequently feel like they're not enough. So that means half of Gen Z-ers consistently or frequently feel like they're not enough. And we even found that with young millennials, so the age group just a little older than a Gen Z-er.
Speaker 1:And how does this connect to authenticity? Because when we're continuing to feel like we're not enough, it's really difficult to show up as our authentic self. But we know when you're your authentic self, you're free to be yourself and that's you know there's less barriers to peak performance when you're truly like in the moment, like that's ultimately what leads to flow, like being in the present, being your authentic self, owning your strengths. And I think it's surprising to think of, like one and two Gen Zers Ryan, I have two boys that are Gen Zers and it breaks my heart right To think that, like we have one and two Gen Zers and you know that's our next generation of our workforce we have one and two Gen Zers and you know that's our next generation of our workforce. And there you know, you have a lot of Gen Zers. All the people are listening in their in your life. So thinking about, like, what are you doing to help them feel like they're not enough, to help them build their confidence and to help them show up as their authentic self?
Speaker 2:50% of Gen's ears. Wow, I'm glad you introduced the confidence study, because that's certainly one thing I was most excited to speak with you about, because I feel as if confidence and motivation are two things that people ask about a lot. How do you generate confidence, how do you become so motivated? And it would be so awesome if both of those things were. You know, when you're getting dressed in the morning, you put on your shirt, you get your coffee, you get your keys and you grab your motivation, you grab your confidence and you put it on you and you walk out the door. Boom, like it feels as if there are people in this world that that's just how it works for them. A lot of people desire to be highly confident, to be highly motivated. Confidence diving deeper. I have guesses as to why 50% of Gen Zers feel the way that they do, but what does the research show and can you uncover a little bit more about what's preventing people from being highly confident and that will unlock how we can become more confident and build that confidence?
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome question. I would describe that the reason that one and two Gen Zers feel like they're consistently or frequently not enough is because of you know, you think about a Gen Zer. At least my kids went through COVID. You know, at a really important time, like they're in eighth grade, which is difficult, right, and then we have this phone in our pockets that we've had since maybe we were in the second or third grade and we are constantly comparing ourselves because of social media, and so that's the reasons I would describe that Gen Zers one and two consistently or frequently feel like they're not enough.
Speaker 1:And the problem is, when we lack confidence, we start second guessing ourselves. We hold our opinions back, right, we don't show up as our authentic self. We might procrastinate. We even found like one third of working Americans have quit a job because it was actively hurting their confidence, which just kind of shows you like people are willing to quit a job. You know if it impacts their confidence. And we found that confidence isn't just an individual issue, and what I mean by that is we tend to kind of think that you know, it's our own thing to grow, but we found that confidence is lower in the workplace. You are less likely to volunteer for things you procrastinate, and it even impacts revenue and the bottom line. And so this is why it's really important for leaders to be thinking about how you can grow confidence of others, why it's important for leaders to think about like what they do to kill confidence, because it is impacting, you know, productivity, stress and anxiety, workplace culture, even a decline in revenue, as I mentioned.
Speaker 2:What does that confidence building practice look like for elite athletes and some of the teams that you've worked with? Because when we're watching, let's say, the Vikings- on.
Speaker 2:ESPN, which is coming up here very soon. I know Everybody on the team or it appears that everybody on the team looks like they're they're ready to roll, they are confident, as can be, and that's the external image. Now, what we don't know from the couch is what's going on in their mind. Are they actually feeling like they are going to make the big completion, that they are going to make the big block, or that they're going to be able to intercept this pass and run it back for a nice pick six? There could be that, or there could be holy smokes. This guy is going to absolutely run me over and I'm not strong enough. We have a 330-pound D lineman that's going to blow me over and I'm praying for life, praying for life. So what does that look like with those folks? So we can take a piece of the playbook from the best of the best.
Speaker 1:So that's a great question, ryan. You know, I think that we might think that all elite athletes are 100% confident all the time, but that's actually not true, that just they're human, just like we are. And I love this acronym by Daniel Amen. The acronym is automatic negative thoughts or ants, and I love just using that, because I wish I would have known this in college that the thoughts that I choose, you know, are the thoughts I have in my mind aren't always the ones I choose, but I get to choose if I'm going to listen to them or not. And just like them, you know, just like we do, we have automatic negative thoughts.
Speaker 1:And I love this quote by Joe Montana, you know, legendary quarterback for the 49ers, and he said confidence is a very fragile thing. It is, it's like a thermometer. And so nobody I've ever worked with at the elite level has said to me Cinder, I am 100% confident all the time. Because it's not true. What I would say is what the best do to build their confidence is they do realize it's a choice. They do focus more on powerful thoughts and powerful images, and they are laying in bed at night and they're thinking about the things they're going to do. They use imagery. You know, we know, imagery is one of the most powerful mental tools that you can use to build confidence, where you imagine past successes or future successes.
Speaker 1:And then I would also say, you know and this is one of the things we found in our research study is that releasing judgment and letting go of past mistakes is key to growing your confidence.
Speaker 1:And so you know, when I think about my own experience that I've just kind of shared with you, like I was very hard on myself in college, that's also the reason I didn't rebound and bounce back, because you know that self-talk was so harsh and critical and that gets in the way of, you know, building our confidence and showing up as our own authentic self. So I would say, like one of the most important things you can do is release your judgment, let go of past mistakes, obviously making sure you're always prepared that's one of the ways that builds confidence. But celebrating your accomplishments, reminding yourself, you know, to be your own inner coach instead of your own inner critic, and that is a practice. You know, most of our self-talk is like what we tolerate in ourselves. You know, and and and making sure that you don't tolerate the trash talk and the inner critic talk that is so human of you, you know because it's so easy just to give in and say, well, that's not possible for me or there's no way I can do that.
Speaker 1:But I would say, like you know those, those inner critic thoughts that you said, I would say, yes, nfl players, elite athletes, have those, but they decide not to listen to them. And they, you know, there's even some really cool research to show that, like pre-planned self-talk, like planning what you're going to say to yourself in moments that matter most to you, can help you gain the edge and not listen to that. You know that harsh inner critic.
Speaker 2:So pre-planned self-talk would that be? Even, let's say, let's say we're a baseball player, so I'm a big, I'm a big Yankees fan. So my pre-planned self-talk before I step in that batter's box it could be something like okay, I know, before the game starts, that when I step in that batter's box, what I'm going to tell myself is I'm a great hitter, I'm capable, and it doesn't matter if it's a 98 mile an hour fastball up and in or 82 mile an hour cutter, I can hit this ball and I can make things happen for the team.
Speaker 1:I love it. Yes, and I would say, say those things as you're warming up and before you go in the batter's box and then let your mind be empty and free just to be in the moment. But I think those powerful self-talk is really important. One example I can give of myself is when I got back into running after my college career, I ran the Omaha Marathon and this was a really special marathon to me because my parents live in Omaha and my boys were there and my sister was there and my husband was there. You know, it was like and also had trained really hard for this race Like at that point I was running like 90 miles in a week, you know. So I was like ready to like crush it. And uh, I remember at one point, um, I was winning the race at mile like 20, which is like I couldn't believe I was winning a marathon, you know. And then the second place woman just came on my tail, like so fast. It was like, ooh, you know. And then we had the biggest hill we were trying to climb and I remember my automatic negative thoughts were just like you know, you suck, sindra, do you think you can win this race? Like, come on. You know better. You know I just want to quit. What in the world were you thinking that you were going to do here? You know you're running too fast and I had to. You know, just listen to that doubt spiral, because it's so easy to go down there so quick, especially when you're tired and you're suffering either mentally or physically.
Speaker 1:And I had some statements I had written out on my arm, actually, ryan, you know. So I had them in marker and I thought a lot about like how am I at my best? So I had pre-planned them and I thought what do I need to remind myself in times I'm struggling? And you know what words represent my best? And it was things like I know I'm ready, I'm fit, I'm confident, I have everything I need inside me. You know I'm ready, I'm confident, I have everything inside, I need within me. And I just started like saying those things to myself over and over again.
Speaker 1:And the amazing part about endurance events is like you can see, you know how your thoughts directly connect to your pace. And I is like you can see, you know how your thoughts directly connect to your pace. And I remember, like that second place woman like on my tail for about a half mile, but then after that it was over, you know, because my body followed my mind and it was like I just got this surge of energy. I don't even remember several of those final miles and when I finished the race, like just I was bawling, you know, because it was like I had overcome my own inner demon, something I wish I would have done in college. But I did it in that moment right, and I guess you know, I think for everyone who's listening, it's like what do you want to tell yourself?
Speaker 1:And the powerful thing is you can create your own self-image. And even in the morning, I have about 30 statements I say to myself every morning. That really represents how do I want to keep growing, and one of them is I'm passionate. Another one is I'm the best damn keynote speaker you ever heard. Because that's the way I want to keep growing is I want to continue to like level up my presence on stage, and so I think that's what's cool is like you know, you never outperform yourself image, and so you've got to keep on leveling up your image of yourself to help you reach your goals. So you could think about what are the goals I'm going after, what are some big, courageous goals? And then, what do I need to believe about myself to get to those goals? And that's what you have to keep on telling yourself every morning. So you're intentionally planting in, you know, those images around your own self image. So you don't let your thoughts go to default, because it's not always helpful when it goes to default.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you bringing up the science and research behind this, because I want people to understand that, although even the words we speak simple thing to say, simple thing to understand, but then hey, no, this isn't just something that we're saying, that this is a good thing, no, this is actually studied and proven that the words we speak, spoken and unspoken, meaning internal, outward and even inward to ourselves, matter. The words we speak matter. I had a, as you know, about 24 hours ago I was pacing through the Leadville mountains, amazing Pacing my lady to finish up the Leadville 100 mile which is, as you know and as many people know, the we'll call it the Boston marathon of trail running One of the most difficult courses out there. There's 12,000 plus feet of elevation gain, the weather goes from about 30 degrees to 80 degrees, back to 30, all in the course of the day, and it is treacherous. It is tough.
Speaker 2:One thing that I would ask her how she's feeling. The only response she's allowed to give is outstanding. And even though she was very deep in the pain cave and she's walking with her poles and we're both freezing and it's two o'clock in the morning, whatever time it was, and her, her, her, a plan went out the window. That's fine. We keep moving forward.
Speaker 2:We find the next best thing, the next we're being given an opportunity, yeah, but the words we speak matter, because if you let the other voice win, that okay, maybe you're not actually feeling outstanding, but oh, I feel like crap. Well now, now you're going to move a little bit slower, that foot's going to feel a little bit heavier. You might not want to push a little bit harder than than you can, and that was inspired actually by Jesse Itzler, who I'm sure you're familiar with.
Speaker 2:Jesse when he was wanting to run his first ultra marathon. He reached out to a Navy SEAL, chad Wright, who's another ultra endurance athlete, and he said Chad, I want you to help me train for my first ultra marathon. You know, I can't make it past the 30 mile mark, no-transcript. And Chad's this big, big old country boy from Texas. And anyways, at mile 30, where Jesse had told Chad this is my wall, I can't make it past this. How do you feel Outstanding? Okay, now we've moved another five miles. How do you feel, jesse, outstanding? Mile 50. Oh, now we're 20 miles further than we've ever ran. How do situations where we may feel like we have zero control or power, where we may feel like we have zero controller power, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I love that example and, you know, I think one of the most important things to remember is that you can level up your self-talk and most of our thoughts are on default. You know, what the research shows is about 70% of what we say to ourselves is more disempowering. It tends to be like a repeat of what we say to ourselves is more disempowering. It tends to be like a repeat of what we said yesterday. And even you know our study on confidence, you know, shows you the importance of growing your confidence and you can. You know, when you think about like things that you can do, you can take control of your own confidence. It's a feeling, it's a decision and it's a skill that you can keep growing.
Speaker 1:But also think about what you do to help other people grow confidence, because you know there are things that you might not even realize that you do that impact confidence. For example, one of the things we found in our research study was that you know leaders, for example, when they micromanage, or when they provide a lack of direction, or when they don't show empathy or understanding, and they can create a culture where people can't take risks or share concerns like those are the things that they do. That prevents confidence, right, but things that leaders can do instead are setting achievable stretch goals. But things that leaders can do instead are setting achievable stretch goals, delegating, recognizing achievements, embracing failure, and those are all examples of things that you can do. You know our study we found that 63% of working Americans would actually take a lower paying job to work with a leader who actively builds their confidence. So more than half the people would take less money to work with a leader that builds confidence.
Speaker 2:Wow. So if this is a call to action for everybody to focus on that confidence muscle, both for yourself, but then for the teams that you support, for the organizations that you're a part of, that's a staggering percentage. Wow, 63% 63%.
Speaker 2:Would have never guessed that, but I'm not surprised, given being in the corporate world now for a decade and seeing what people are really leaning towards from a values perspective and really being more intentional about the people that they choose to work with and work for. So, confidence, confidence, call to action with this conversation there. Sindra, this has been awesome so far. You have a knack for developing highly useful and easy to remember frameworks, and one that stood out to me was learn, burn and return no-transcript. And how do we apply that in our life and where would we apply that?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's actually one of my favorite tools from Beyond Grit and one that's really sticky, so it's easy to remember and you could use it anytime you're overthinking something, anytime you've experienced a mistake or a disappointment, or you're frustrated, or you're beating yourself up, and the tool goes like this the first thing you want to do is ask yourself what did I learn? And you want to do it with a prompt like next time I will, because you can't do anything about what just happened, like it's done right. And this is really important because if you choose the same phrase or action every time, it strengthens a new neural pathway so you're less likely to overthink. You know, ryan, I call myself a recovering overthinker. I used to overthink all the time and it's fascinating when I'm in the corporate space and I do keynotes, and even today, when I was with an athletic team, I asked them like, what percentage of you are overthinkers? And like almost 90% of people raise their hand, it's fascinating and the other 10% are just like overthinking if they should raise their hand or not. I just find, like most people overthink, so you want to use the same phrase or action, and that what I do is I say how fast, that fast. You know, kind of snap. You might pretend to flush a toilet that's what some people do. You might brush it off, you might say next play or be present, but the thing is you want to choose the same phrase or action to move on Again. It grows that muscle in your brain and then the last part is to return and that means build yourself back up.
Speaker 1:So a few days ago I was working with an athletic team and the presentation went just a little bit longer than I wanted to and I noticed myself, even though that the first like 50 minutes was phenomenal. You know, afterwards I was just like Sindra, you should have known better, you should have cut this, you should have did this Right. And as I was laying in bed I was just like ruminating on that and I'm like that is not helpful, because you just made this incredible impact on this team and now you're just thinking about. You know you're beating yourself up. So I thought, okay, what would I do differently next time? Next time I would cut this section. All right, burn it, let it go that fast.
Speaker 1:Return means build your confidence back up and that means like telling myself I'm really great at this, I made a positive impact with this team. I'm so grateful for the opportunity. You know and I know you. I know you might learn and burn, but you don't return. You don't build yourself back up after a disappointment or a setback. And, as Ryan, as you think about the question you asked me, like, what do the world's best do differently? They don't let themselves get in that downward spiral. They pick themselves back up, even after a mistake or disappointment, and they're reminding themselves like I'm meant to be on this field. You know, this is my passion, I'm great at this, you know, and no matter if you're on the field or in your life. Like just reminding yourself this is what you're meant to do also allows you to, like, continue to reset and that's so important to move on that fast and reset our muscle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, yeah, absolutely. So it's a great tool, from what I hear, to get to, to get back to center and, hey, we're going to not everything's going to go our way. We might make mistakes, which really that just means we're going to create opportunities that we didn't foresee and we move forward and that's what we do. So, sindra, you actually get to be the first person that I get to create this conversation with, so I recently started exploring, as I was thinking about the business and the podcast and life.
Speaker 2:There are a lot of topics that we talk about that can be defined so many different ways. Take even confidence and motivation. What it means to you might be completely different to what it means to somebody else. Same for motivation. Now, when we think about winning, I launched a newsletter recently called Winning Is Because how I define winning and how you define winning may be different, but through our varying perspectives, we may be giving somebody a tool or helping unlock a new thought pattern that can help somebody gain higher performance or that mental edge. So if I ask you, what is winning to you? Winning is dot, dot, dot. What does that blank look like for you?
Speaker 1:I think of two answers. I think winning is being your best consistently, because winning is actually something you can't control, but you can control how you show up. And I also think of winning as this acronym. What's important now? And I like that acronym because you can't be your best if you're not in the present moment, and you know we only spend 47% of our time in the present moment. 53% of our time is we're focused on something other than what we're doing, which is very scary. You know that study was conducted by two Harvard professors and it's like what's important now? Can you be your best more often? That's what I think winning is, because we ultimately can't control the outcome of the game or the outcome of if you get that promotion or not. It's out of your control. You can control showing up as your very best.
Speaker 2:How do you believe how you just defined winning today would have looked like if we asked the Sindra that was running at iowa and was the best of the best and then went to college and found out oh wow, we're around a lot of people that are also the best of the best. What do you believe the difference, if there is one, would have been in that response?
Speaker 1:I think it's very different. I think I spent most of my focus on the outcome in college and I was so outcome focused, like I wanted to run a certain time or I wanted to get in the top five or the top three, and I defined my identity by my outcome and that's ultimately like why I think I struggled and why I. You know it was a lot, there was a lot of inner limits for me at the time, like constant comparison, constant judgment, but I wish that I would have focused on the small steps to get there and I wish I would have, like I wish I um evaluated my own success based on my process. You know, like, can I um implement my race plan? Can I talk to myself powerfully in the race? Can I um, you know, give my best effort? Those are all the things I could control, and I think most of my college career I was focused on things I could not control and that's why I just kept on being in that downward spiral, you know. And so I think syndrome, college syndrome, thinks very differently than you know, professional syndrome right now, and I think those are things I just had to learn and you know so much of.
Speaker 1:I think our identity can be tied up into, like the outcome and the outcome is completely out of your control. Did I get a standing ovation? Okay, that meant I did really good, but now it's like my only judgment of myself, or my keynotes, is like did I show up fully as Cendra Kampoff today? And if I showed up fully as Cendra Kampoff, like that's what my definition of success is? Because when I show up fully as Cendra Kampoff, you know with you, ryan, and you show up fully as Ryan, you know, then there's no barriers to connection and that's where we can make the most impact. When our true authentic self so that's how I define success now is like can I show up as my true authentic self, you know, moment after moment, which can be difficult, to be honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, part of why I'm so curious and about this question and this conversation around winning is that I'm seeing more of a shift, in that it's not so binary and it's not as outcome driven as we believe it may be or as the word may appear to be. As you mentioned before and I'm with you as well winning certainly would have been tied to a scoreboard or some sort of outcome, but now it's something much deeper. For you, it's with presence. For me, it's being in constant creation and alignment with my goals and values, and constant creation of powerful conversations like this, constant creation of meaningful experiences with people in the world. And 22 year old Ryan 10 years ago would have said something completely different. So one last bit on this is if someone, if you were to give someone one piece of advice as to how they could define what winning is for their life, what would that be?
Speaker 1:A piece of advice would be to think about what definition would propel you forward and to use that definition when you think about what. Do you really need winning to be like to be your best? What does that mean to you? And I would just give them advice to say be careful that it's not the outcome, because you can't ultimately control if you can reach that outcome. And we know, ryan, that some of the world's best athletes, for example, they do have outcome goals, like they want to make it to the Olympics or they want to make it to the Super Bowl. And I would also say is you know, they have other goals along with those and they use those goals to like, motivate them, those outcome goals, but every day they focus on what they can control. So I would say consider your definition of success and winning to be something you can control, because that's going to get you further along and keep you more motivated.
Speaker 2:Amen to that, sandra. There's a couple different ways that we can work with you and keep up with you. You are offering an amazing opportunity for folks to take advantage of a breakthrough. Call with you and the team at the Mentally Strong Institute. Talk through how we could take advantage of that opportunity, in addition to some other exciting ways that we can work with you. Support you and the Mentally Strong Institute.
Speaker 1:Thank you, ryan. That's very nice of you to ask. I'm offering anyone who is listening and who was moved by the conversation today to head over to freementalbreakthroughcallcom, and that's where you can sign up for a free breakthrough call with myself or one of my team members at Mentally Strong, and what we do is we help people get to their goals quicker and to increase their influence and to grow their confidence. So we'll talk about this podcast and what you learned from it to help you really solidify some things that you can use to move forward. So again, that's freementalbreakthroughcallcom, and at the Mentally Strong Institute, we offer one-on-one coaching, we offer keynote speaking and training, and then we also offer this amazing opportunity to become certified in my work and it's called the Mentally Strong Coach Certification and it's for people who want to learn more about coaching.
Speaker 1:Maybe they want to bring coaching into their team and maybe they're a leader and they want to get better at coaching their team members, or they're an athletic coach, or maybe you're just interested in gaining the skills of coaching. And so we have a new cohort starting September 8th. That, ryan, is going to be amazing. This is our fourth cohort and I've loved every single cohort and they get like ongoing training from me every month too, which is really cool, and so, even if you're listening to this, after September 8th, when our next cohort is, we offer a couple of different cohorts every year and you can learn more again if you just go to mentallystronginstitutecom and click on certification, or you can just jump on a call with us at freementalbreakthroughcallcom and we can chat with you about it and answer any of your questions.
Speaker 2:I highly recommend that folks take advantage of this opportunity and keep in touch with Sindra and follow along with what's going on with the institute. There is amazing work. I've signed up for the confidence course and was walking through the video before we jumped on and that's a three video series course that anybody can also get for free. And start taking advantage and really take the tools and frameworks that Sandra and I have briefly gone over today and incorporate that into your life. Sandra, I have one closing question for you, and that's this what's one step that we can take today to move ourselves closer to our goals?
Speaker 1:The one step you can take is let's go back to your opening quote. If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough, and I know that you are moved in this conversation in some way to dream a little bit bigger, and I'm going to encourage you to write that big dream down. And then I want you, every day, just to take little steps to get towards that dream. And when people say, you know, no, that's not possible for you, I want you to remind yourself of why it is possible for you, Because anything's possible, right, and keep that focus top of mind and look at that goal every day and imagine yourself reaching that goal, because you can do it. And then think about you know, what do you need to believe about yourself to reach that goal?
Speaker 1:So I would say keep dreaming big and keep going after that big, courageous dream, because when you get there, it's going to be incredible, the best thing you've ever done. And, brian, I would also just like because when you get there, it's going to be incredible, the best thing you've ever done. And, brian, I would also just like to give you some love here. Like you are amazing at asking me just amazing questions, I can tell that you prepared so well for this interview and you did your research, and that doesn't always happen. So I just want to say thank you so much for having me and for your listeners. I can see why they keep tuning in every episode because you know you're such thoughtful questions that really go deep and not are so superficial. So keep it up and everyone keep listening to Ryan's podcast.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much. Sindra and everybody, dream big, run towards the things that scare you, the things that, rather, on the other side of the things that we don't want to do or that we're scared of, is the best and better version of ourselves that will help us win today. Thank you so much.
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