Win Today

#210 | [WT Remix] Thought Mastery: What Happens When You Don't Hear The Naysayers

• Season 5

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In this episode, I explore how negative thoughts aren’t always true and how our beliefs about them shape our reality. Using the allegory of a deaf frog and Byron Katie's method, The Work, I highlight actionable strategies to break free from limiting beliefs.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Examine past successes to challenge negative self-talk.
  2. Create new evidence through consistent action.
  3. Question and reframe limiting beliefs.
  4. Transform negative thoughts into fuel for growth.

These strategies will help you separate yourself from negative thoughts and become unshakable in what matters most.

Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
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Speaker 1:

This is also coming from somebody that for many years allowed himself to hear negative stories and make them true and wonder why my life couldn't be normal. Quote normal like everybody else, Because then everything would be a-okay. And what I know now is that there really aren't too many quote bad things in life, because everything delivers good.

Speaker 2:

Do hard things. Help one person, be good and do good, live a life of discipline, and you will always win. You have all the tools that you need to succeed. Welcome to win today. Thank you so much for tuning in. My name is Ryan Cass and I am your host. My purpose in this world is to help push people further and harder than they believed possible and become unshakable in what matters most to them in their lives. Every week, you're going to learn from either myself or a renowned expert in their field, and we're going to unveil pieces of our playbook to help you win today. Please, if you love this show, subscribe and share it with somebody that will benefit from it. Let's dig in.

Speaker 2:

Byron Katie once said that it's not your thoughts that create your reality. It's your beliefs about your thoughts, and Byron Katie is a renowned author of multiple books, but this one comes from Loving what Is four powerful questions that can change your life. And Byron Katie's method is commonly known as the work, meaning that when we commit to doing the work on our inner selves and really explore what is going on in our mind and then question what actually makes that true, then we can start to really uncover. Are we always holding our thoughts as reality, because our thoughts are simply an interpretation of reality, yet sometimes we run with them as true and then the most negative thought that can visit you in a moment of you're not capable, you can't do this, this is reserved for others that are better than you. That no longer serves as reality and you're able to push forward. So I'm a huge fan of her work, and this is diving into how to not hold negative thoughts as true. This is actually remixing an episode from earlier in the year, at the beginning of the year, and actually tacking on further from what we went through last week in powerful language.

Speaker 2:

Two things that I believe can really help set people free are powerful language and thought mastery, meaning that we're more mindful of what is actually taking place in our mind and then more tactical as to how to interpret that and respond to it and run with it or, in many cases, be able to properly dispose of it when we find out that this is something that doesn't serve us well.

Speaker 2:

So now that we're in the midway point of the year, I love to bring these things back, as we did last week with powerful language. This is thought mastery and how to not hold negative thoughts as true. We'll certainly be diving more into Byron Katie's work and her method. The work and I highly recommend her book, loving what Is it's something that has really been transformative in my life and has been recommended by some of the coaches that I love and respect most that have had a massive influence on my way of being. When we truly commit to the work, then we can become more tactful around our reality and what shapes it, and this is what this is intended to do here this week. Enjoy.

Speaker 1:

One thing that I often experience in people that I get to work with and people that have enrolled in the mastermind that I coach, that I see in the corporate world, it's not that they don't have the ability or capability to do things.

Speaker 1:

Most people have the capability to do so much, yet are held captive by what's going on in their minds and everything that they hold to be true. That really isn't true. Now, the opportunity there, and what excites me about that, is that all of that can be shifted, because our minds and our brains are so malleable that we can reprogram how we think about these things and what we do when these negative thoughts pay us a visit and we have so much power that we can rewire them. This is also coming from somebody that for many years, from somebody that for many years, allowed himself to hear negative stories and make them true and wonder why my life couldn't be normal quote normal like everybody else, because then everything would be a-okay. And what I know now is that there really aren't too many quote bad things in life, because everything delivers good, even the people that don't show you love. In my view, now they are showing love because they're giving so much energy and drive and fuel to prove them wrong. And even that like how can we get people to see somebody not showing them love as showing them love? I highly recommend reading the Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday, because it really digs into all of that. How can we look at the bad thing actually being the good thing and wire our minds to see it as such? Because, going back to the very beginning, nobody is immune to the negative thoughts. Nobody is immune to the negative instances. Nobody is immune to things negative instances Nobody is immune to things not going your way.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to start off with a story to illustrate this. I love telling stories. Last week, we talked about how people remember things because of stories. We can say don't hold negative thoughts. Okay, great, roger, that. But if there's no story tied behind it, then maybe it doesn't create any meaning for you. Or you can say yeah, everyone says that, ryan. So here's a story. I often like to share stories in my corporate world with my team during weekly leadership team meetings. Some of them are old legends, some of them are stories from experience. But, bottom line, there's always a lesson to be imparted on the team in each story that is told, and there's always a lesson that is to be imparted in listeners when it's told here on the podcast, and people love stories, so here's a fun one.

Speaker 1:

All right, put yourself in a forest and we're looking at a tribe of frogs yes, a tribe of frogs and there's one frog that has decided that he is going to climb to the top of the highest tree in the forest. And frogs, as you may know, they they do climb trees, but a frog usually does not have business climbing to the top of a tree, because then they're going to become more vulnerable. Because who hangs out at the top of the tree? The birds, the hawks, so it's not advantageous for a frog to go up there. But this frog decides he's going to go all the way to the top. So, as this frog is in his pursuit, all the other frogs, the tribe of frogs at the bottom, are jumping up and down. They're going crazy, and really what they're saying in their frog language is get down, get down. What are you doing? You're crazy, you idiot. You can never make it to the top. No, frog goes to the top. Frogs aren't supposed to be up there. We can't do this, you're incapable. And this frog? We can't do this, you're incapable. And this frog? He sees the tribe of frogs that are going up and down, but he has no clue. He thinks that they're cheering for them, so he makes it all the way to the top and gets back down, and the frogs are now a little more at ease because their, their friend, has made it back down to the bottom and what they realize is at the bottom.

Speaker 1:

The frog that just climbed to the top of the tree is deaf, and he thought that all the other frogs were just cheering for him the whole time to make it to the top. So what he did was he didn't create this story in his mind that everybody's rooting for me to not make it to the top and not succeed. He rewired that, or all he allowed himself to hear is that these frogs are cheering for him and rooting for him and they want him to be successful. And now think about that. With normal life and us humans, what do we allow ourselves to hear? Do we allow ourselves to hear more negativity and believe what everyone has to say down at the bottom? People are rooting for us and there's no reason why we can't get to the top of whatever tree we're climbing the tree being a figurative thing now being whatever we're pursuing, getting to the top of whatever goal we're running towards or climbing towards. It's often what we choose to hear when people are communicating to us that can keep us climbing or keep us on the ground and not moving towards our goals.

Speaker 1:

So a few things that we're going to cover today in how to not hold negative thoughts as true. How to not hold negative thoughts as true. I've got four things that we're going to run through with the intent that it allows you to rewire your relationship with negative thoughts and help create more positive energy to move forward, regardless of what may get in the way or regardless of the tribe of frogs that may be yelling at you. Not to go after whatever it is that you may be going after in life right now. Not to focus on whatever you deem as most important in your life. So the first thing is look at the evidence. Look at the evidence that you've created for yourself what I think about here.

Speaker 1:

I had an amazing conversation recently with my friend, jonathan Cohen, who is going to be on the podcast soon. We recorded recently and he shares this really powerful story about how he wanted to go to a certain law school and he had a learning disability growing up, had struggled with critical thinking, and when he shared this vision with one of his academic advisors, with his parents in the room, she literally laughed in his face and said your parents are going to have to buy a building for you to even have a chance to get into this law school. And Jonathan now is a successful attorney up in New York City and also a podcast host. He's had some of the most prominent thought leaders in the world on his show Inside the Inspired and hearing that for him created this machine inside of him and gave him so much fuel. Like no woman. You're wrong, and here's why. And he said that he looked back at everything that he had done to get to that point of overcoming his learning disability, making it through challenging himself to sign up for more difficult classes, to be in the classes at the learning level that they deemed was going to be incomprehensible for him. He had been involved in extracurricular activities. So, looking back at the evidence, the evidence of his journey, doesn't support the claim that this woman was making, and I think about that in our lives.

Speaker 1:

There's a concept that we also discussed and it's something that I absolutely love. It's from Dr Ben Hardy and the concept is the gap in the game, and as humans, we often live in the gap. So living in the gap means that we're not appreciative or awake to the journey that we've taken, and this is something that is common in highly ambitious people, that being probably many of you listening, because if you're not highly ambitious or going after big things, you're probably not tuning into podcasts like this. I know that I catch myself in the gap from time to time as well, and the gap can be. Here's an example I recently ran a 150 mile ultra marathon and raised $7,000 for families that have a loved one battling cancer that we've given away roughly $4,000 so far to two families, so two more to go.

Speaker 1:

Living in the gap would be forgetting about that moment and now getting upset at myself that oh well, there's so many people that have ran 200 miles and have raised $200,000 and helped 50 families, and this isn't good enough. What you've just done, even though that was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, spent 43 hours out there, struggled for almost two days straight, versus living in the game. Here's everything it took to get to that point. Thousands of miles daily, reps, waking up early, working out when you don't want to, learning how to raise money, learning how to fundraise, building a network of people that are gracious enough to support these causes. So when I look at all the evidence there and look at the gain and recognize the journey, then it keeps me pushing these negative voices aside. That you're not enough, you haven't done enough, somebody else is doing more. That you're not enough. You haven't done enough, somebody else is doing more.

Speaker 1:

Look at the evidence. What has gotten you to where you are? What are the monumental steps? What are the things you've overcome? What are the challenges you've overcome? What are the naysayers that you've proven wrong? How many times have you proven yourself right? How much evidence have you created that supports this false claim in your mind that you can't do something? We often forget about how far we've come when a negative thought comes into our mind and then we allow that negative thought to serve as true. That's crazy. That's absolutely crazy. Call to action to allow yourself and remind yourself to explore the evidence that has gotten you where you are today.

Speaker 1:

The second piece, along with look back at the evidence that's gotten you where you are today, create new evidence. Create new evidence day in, day out, week in, week out, month in, month out. How do you do that? Build a system around the things that are most important to you. How do you do that? Identify what it is that is most important to you in life and what does success look like in those things that are most important to you? Now, let's build a system around it. What are the daily habits, what are the daily things that we can do that align to getting us closer to that goal, to creating that reality?

Speaker 1:

I've been talking a lot about the Unshakable Discipline Mastermind Group and one thing that's really cool about that half the people in there I've never met in person. One thing that I'm doing now, one thing I'm doing to create new evidence, is I'm reaching out to people on LinkedIn that have engaged with my content, that I haven't met, building a relationship with them, connecting with them and then encouraging them to join the group, building sales skills, but making a habit of reaching out and having genuine conversations with people that I don't know. And now it is building this amazing mastermind community. So now, when I had previous thoughts of, hmm, this mastermind community you've wanted to build and you've been dreaming of of having hundreds of people in there. Maybe this isn't for you, because look at all these other folks that have hundreds of folks in their mastermind groups. They must just be 10 times better at selling than you. Okay, I can sit there and if I made that true, I can say, yeah, maybe it's not for me. Or I can build a system around my goal of getting 100 people in reaching out to people, learning how to ask more powerful questions and here we are 50% of people I've never met.

Speaker 1:

Create new evidence for yourself that does not allow you to hold the negative thought true as to whatever you may be going after in this life. So what we're getting at here, the intent behind this I'm attempting to get you to stack some wins and stack a few different tips, tools, tricks that you can put into your arsenal, so that, in this case, I'm going to give you four things. So that, in this case, I'm going to give you four things. So now you've got four ways to beat any negative thought that may come your way or any naysayer that may come at you. The next one is create space to be with your thoughts. Create space to be with your thoughts, so anytime that you have a thought about I can't do this, or this person said I can't, so I guess I can't. Maybe it's not for me, spend some time with it for a minute.

Speaker 1:

What's triggering you in that particular thought or with that, what that particular person said, what really dug at you? Okay, is it true? The most powerful, one of the most powerful questions in the world, I believe, is is it true? What makes this true, what makes this thought true? What makes this person saying I can't do? This is true. Now you can go back to the evidence. Or now, if you understand how it allowed you to trigger you, how can we rewire that? Or what was the deeper meaning behind this thought, the deeper meaning behind what this person said?

Speaker 1:

Sometimes we hear things that people say, or sometimes we even hear things with certain thoughts that do not align with the actual intent of what that person meant to communicate, or what that person or what you even thought. An example of that is I look at my mom. I love my mom to death. My mom to this day we just had a snowstorm in Charleston will ask me or remind me am I wearing my jacket as if I'm six years old and it drives me nuts, and I used to sit there and think she doesn't trust me, she doesn't think that I'm capable of being an adult by myself, and, gosh, I just wish she would understand. Okay, what really triggered me in that moment is I didn't feel that I was trusted, and that's something that's important to me. I didn't feel that I was capable, rather, and that's something that's important to me. But I know that. Okay, is it true? No, okay, what's the underlying meaning behind what she's doing? Or what's the underlying thing that she, she's doing? Or what's the underlying thing that she's doing? Hmm, she's just loving me, she's just showing me some love, that's it.

Speaker 1:

We often create these definitions for ourselves and and the thoughts that we have and the things that people say to us. So now, every time, you know, I know if there's another snow storm or if there's bad weather, I know my mom's going to tell me to wear my jacket and, rather than allow myself to think she believes I'm incapable, which isn't true, I've rewired that to hey, it's somebody that loves me. It's just somebody showing me some love that loves me. It's just somebody showing me some love, and that's a beautiful thing. You want people in your life that love you and care about you, and by allowing yourself a little bit of extra time to be with your thoughts and really break them down, and break down what people tell you. And break down what people tell you, then you can explore the good intent or the good message that's really behind the things that sometimes we hear as negative. What are we choosing to hear? Go back to the frog. The frog chose to feel support, even though he couldn't really hear anything. He imagined that those people were just cheering him on by choice. If he thought that all those frogs were telling him that he's incapable, or if he chose to hear that in his mind, he would have never made it to the top of the tree. So spend time with your thoughts. The last one is and we've touched it a little bit but rewire the messages that you receive. So Jonathan, at the very beginning, with his academic advisor, said he would never get into a certain school. Now he's an amazing attorney. He rewired that to become fuel.

Speaker 1:

One thing that I see with with people that leave nasty messages or haters the way I look at it now is hey, if you want to leave me some hate or say that I'm incapable of doing something. You just gave me the best compliment, because now I'm going to prove you wrong, and here's exactly. Here's why. Because here's all this evidence I have that doesn't support your claim. Oh and, by the way, if you leave a bad message, I love you because you're probably someone that needs a little bit of love. Think about that. Someone said something bad. Hey, I wish you the best and I appreciate the fuel that you just gave me, and I'll hold anything against you for it, by the way. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It took a long time to be able to arrive at that and a lot of practice.

Speaker 1:

I just finished reading this book by Naval Ravikant. It's actually the almanac of Naval Ravikant and, as we're talking through these things, it makes me think about happiness, and people bring up happiness a lot as if it's this thing that we gain after certain outcomes, and it's not. And often, when we think about what gets in the way of happiness, it's our relationship, with our thoughts. So I'm going to pull something from the book that I found to be really useful and applicable to what we're talking about here, and this is from page 134.

Speaker 1:

Happiness is a choice you make and a skill you develop. The mind is just as malleable as the body. We spend so much time and effort trying to change the external world, other people and our own bodies, all while accepting ourselves the way we're programmed in our youths. We accept the voice in our head as the source of all truth, but all of it is malleable and every day is new. Memory and identity are burdens from the past preventing us from living freely in the present. At any given time. When you're walking down the streets, a very small percentage of your brain is focused on the present. The rest is planning the future or regarding the past. This keeps you from having an incredible experience. It's keeping you from seeing the beauty in everything and for being grateful for where you are. You can literally destroy your happiness if you spend all of your time living in delusions of the future.

Speaker 1:

I just don't believe in anything from my past Anything. No memories, future I just don't believe in anything from my past Anything. No memories, no regrets, no people, no trips, nothing. A lot of our unhappiness comes from comparing things from the past to the present. Now, the last piece there can be a little challenging to hear. I don't believe anything from the past and I believe some of that comes across as discarding memories. But the first piece, I love that first piece, that memory, and rather I love that first piece that our minds are malleable. So this means that everybody has the opportunity to recreate the stories, to recreate the definitions, to rewire, to redefine what these negative thoughts mean. That goes to you, that goes to me, that goes to everybody, that goes to you, that goes to me, that goes to everybody. So it's my wish that you take these tips and tricks and place them into your arsenal so that you will not hold negative thoughts true in 2025 and win today. Thanks so much.

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Ryan Cass

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