Win Today

#209 | No Self-Imposed Limitations: The No BS Guide To Creating Powerful Language

• Season 5

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Your words don't just reflect your reality—they create it. A lesson I learned early in my career taught me that saying "I'll try" invites uncertainty, while commitment begins with decisive language. The words we use—especially those that signal doubt or limitation—shape how we think, act, and pursue goals. As we hit the year’s midpoint, focus on upgrading your language and watch how it improves your state of being plus welcomes in new opportunities. 

3 Key Takeaways:

  1. Eliminate uncertain language like “try,” “hope,” and “maybe”—they weaken commitment and action.
  2. Watch for self-limiting phrases and negative preambles that reinforce doubt or fear.
  3. Rewire your mindset by intentionally choosing words that reflect confidence, clarity, and possibility.

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Speaker 1:

Do hard things. Help one person, be good and do good, live a life of discipline, and you will always win. You have all the tools that you need to succeed. Welcome to win today. Thank you so much for tuning in. My name is Ryan Cass and I am your host. My purpose in this world is to help push people further and harder than they believe possible and become unshakable in what matters most to them in their lives. Every week, you're going to learn from either myself or a renowned expert in their field, and we're going to unveil pieces of our playbook to help you win today. Please, if you love this show, subscribe and share it with somebody that will benefit from it.

Speaker 1:

Let's dig in. Imagine that this is a job interview and, as I say, that every day in life truly is an interview for something, though it may not be an actual formal interview that you're sitting in, we theoretically interview for who's going to be our next set of friends or who is a person that may welcome you into their life simply as a result of your way of being and the habits that you possess, the language that you choose, the behaviors that you model. We're halfway into the year and one of my favorite things to talk about is the importance of powerful language, because this is something the words that we choose as minor as it may seem at times, the words that we choose, the words that we speak both outward and even what we allow inward, can make or break an opportunity. Can make or break an opportunity a group of people welcoming you, in a person, welcoming you into their life, whether it's a new friend or a potential romantic partner. Everything in life is created through language, and I can't stress this enough that it is so important that I focus on this every year and dedicate at least one to two episodes on the podcast around powerful language and new things that I'm continuing to learn about, how to, and new things that I'm continuing to learn about how to optimize our language, how to stop saying the things that everybody not everybody, but a lot of people say as commonplace, not recognizing that these are things that can be holding you back or preventing you from a future opportunity. This one has very deep meaning to me as it goes back to a story, a situation in 2012, now 13 years back, but this is how much this means to me.

Speaker 1:

The first manager that I ever worked for in the corporate world was Chris Van Aresdale at Otis Elevator Company, and Otis is a globally recognized elevator manufacturer and service company. You've definitely been on an Otis elevator. If you have been in a multi-story building, whether it's two floors, a skyscraper you've been in one. I was interning for Otis for two summers. This was in between my sophomore and junior year and I will never forget my first day and I wish I would have known exactly what day it was, but it was around that June July timeframe.

Speaker 1:

So right about now, 13 years ago, chris took me out for lunch to East Bay Deli and we sat down. He shared his leadership philosophy with me, which really inspired me that there are people in this world that care so much about serving others that they've developed principles in which they allow others to hold them to and hold them accountable to. Rather, chris shared his leadership beliefs and what I can expect from him as a leader beliefs and what I can expect from him as a leader and then also gave me permission to call him out if he ever did anything that was out of alignment with that philosophy. I remember making a leadership philosophy that year, going into that sophomore school year and getting made fun of for sharing it with people thinking that, why do you have a leadership philosophy when you're 20 years old? But that is something that I still carry to this day and what was used to develop a powerful leadership philosophy Powerful language. Every day rather, every new person that works directly for me on my leadership team, all of my managers and anybody that reports directly to me in a leadership capacity the first thing they get on their first day is my leadership philosophy, and I give them that same invitation that Chris gave me 13 years ago, the second thing that we do and the second thing that Chris did.

Speaker 1:

That day after we got back from lunch, he shared the vision and goals for Otis and what the team in South Carolina is working for that year. Then he asked me a question Ryan, what do you want to accomplish this summer? What do you intend to accomplish this summer After? Do you intend to accomplish this summer After? He gave me an overview of what I was likely going to be doing. I said, chris, well, I'm going to try. I couldn't even finish my sentence.

Speaker 1:

He stops me in my tracks and he puts a pen across the table. He said, ryan, try to grab that pen right across the table. So what do I do? I reach my arm across, I grab the pen. I hold it up in the air, thinking this is a trivial task. What am I supposed to do now? That was easy, and he said you see what you just did there. You didn't try to grab the pen, you took action, you made something happen and you grabbed the pen. It wasn't optional, and when you're working with me this summer, moving forward on your goals is not going to be optional. You are either going to succeed or you are not, and if you don't, I'm going to help you get there and understand why you might not be. And if you don't, I'm going to help you get there and understand why you might not be able to meet the mark. But you cannot use the word try, because try is optional.

Speaker 1:

One thing that is now a part of my mastermind group, the Unshakable Discipline Mastermind community, is anybody that uses the word try on a weekly call on Tuesdays has a 10 burpee penalty. That actually was inspired by another mastermind group that I was a part of, called the Happy Hustle Club, led by Kerry Jack, and he invited me onto one of his meetings after I had him on my podcast and I was blown away by two things. One, if anybody showed up late to the meeting, then Carrie picked a song and the person had to sing it on the Zoom meeting for 30 seconds, and there's a lot of people on these calls. The second, and there's a lot of people on these calls. The second thing is if anybody ever used the word try or hope or any sort of self-limiting language or negative preambles, that also resulted in a penalty of 15 pushups. And I believe there was one other thing. So I thought man, the unshakable community, this is perfect. 10 burpees anytime someone uses the word try or hope.

Speaker 1:

Or I think I'm going to, or maybe I will do this because these things, while it seems trivial, while it seems trivial downloads a program in our mind that the very things that we want the most in life and desire the most are optional when we put it into our mind. I'm going to try to work out tomorrow morning the program that just got downloaded is. Maybe I'll work out if I'm feeling good and if the alarm goes off, maybe not Versus, I am going to work out in the morning. Now we've programmed or downloaded a program into our subconscious, into our malleable brain, that this is not optional. We are doing this thing tomorrow, and that is that. Now can things still get in the way, of course, but that program is set, that we are doing something, versus try mean the program is set that we might do something. One simple word can change the course of action or change the course of your life major and minor outcomes of things, job opportunities, people that are going to welcome you into their life, and so many more things.

Speaker 1:

I'm currently interviewing people right now for positions that are going to be reporting directly to me, and that's one of the things that I'm looking for, or that I'm listening for very intently who is using powerful language and who is using limiting language, because the people that are using powerful language, meaning I'll likely ask questions about what do their next five years look like? I'm looking for the person that is going to tell me that, that Ryan, the, in the next five years, I am going to dot, dot, dot, and they've thought through what they want, they know what they want or they at least have some sort of direction, and here's how I'm going to do it. That person, whether they actually do that or not, automatically has bonus points in my book, because, as I'm hearing them say that what I'm hearing is that they have a program in their mind, that their plan, their future, is not optional. And there will be other people that give answers, such as Ryan, well, I'm going to try, dot, dot, dot, dot. Now what I'm hearing is, if you're working for me and on this team, which has high standards, and on this team, which has high standards, the things that we're going after mentally might be optional to you and that's not okay. Therefore, you are likely not going to get this opportunity.

Speaker 1:

One word, one word, and you may think, ryan, that's a little harsh and go back to your normal life. Imagine, for those of you that have kids or have partners or have something that you really deeply care about. Think about this for a second. Are the expectations that you have about how you want someone to treat you? Are those optional? Are you going to appreciate if someone says, well, I'm going to try to be nice and respectful to you tomorrow. How's that going to sit with you? My favorite one when I'm speaking to my teams and I I kindly interject when I hear the word try Now, most people I'd say everybody in my organization knows now, and people that that spend time with me know that word is banned.

Speaker 1:

We don't do burpees in the corporate world, but if we could, we would. That would be a good thing for the corporate world as well. But I ask them, as many of them have families, I say what would you say if your son or daughter told you that they were going to try to clean their room? Your response would be no, son, daughter, you're going to clean your damn room, because that's the standard that we uphold in this household. I can only imagine what it would have been like telling my five foot two Colombian firecracker mom that I'm going to try to be respectful and try to empty the trash can. Now, I wasn't always successful at that growing up the emptying the trash can part, the respectful part. If that part didn't happen, then my tail would be red and my head would be on a swivel.

Speaker 1:

But this is to bring light to the fact that one word can change the course. One phrase can change the course, can create or have you be passed on from an opportunity that you desire. So there's three things that I'm going to bring up here for you to be aware of, as you may not even recognize how often you're doing or saying these things. I believe we've used a considerable amount of time now in that try is a word that should be eliminated from your vocabulary, because if I asked you, is your dream life optional? You would say no, it's not optional. Why would it be optional? So are you going to try to create it, or are you going to create it, or are you going to do your best to create it? Are you going to work to create it? Not try, do, try, do, try, do. Catch yourself this week, especially if you're a culprit of this how many times are you using the word try and give yourself some sort of penalty for it and tell somebody to hold you accountable too?

Speaker 1:

I remember that, after Chris had that conversation with me, that I wrote down how many times I would use the word try on a given day, and I had a little tally sheet and I was working to get it to zero, and I remember that I would often slow down my speech, slow down breathe. It's actually okay to think before you speak, and it doesn't. The silence isn't as awkward as you believe it is or as you create in your mind that, oh my God, this person's going to think I'm an idiot because I'm pausing. I just paused here as I'm looking at myself on video and now have trained myself to know that, hey, this isn't awkward, this is normal. The audio version of this. You're not even going to tell that. I just took a nice little pause to regroup, slow down, catch yourself.

Speaker 1:

Maybe the word try? Every time you do it is 10 burpees. And guess what? Let's say you use it 10 times. Today or tomorrow You're going to do 100 burpees, you're going to get in better shape while doing it and you're going to do less and less burpees. Eventually. Hopefully right, not even hopefully. That's another one we're getting rid of.

Speaker 1:

So three things One is negative preambles. The second is negative self-talk and then self-limiting beliefs. So I'm going to go through a few that I hear very commonly and provide a reframe and the call to action with each of these. If you hear something that you are culprit of or that you use a lot and maybe you don't recognize what it really could mean, then I invite you to challenge yourself and let me know if anything really stood out to you. So, negative preamble what is that? Here's an example of a negative preamble. Oh man, this might be a stupid question, but dot, dot, dot. It's only a stupid question. If you say it's a stupid question, the reason why we don't want to bring that up is because this might be a stupid question. But dot dot, dot. What is that giving off that you're not confident, that you may not believe that you are capable of asking whatever it is that is on your mind, or that you're going to be looked at as lesser because you don't know the very thing that you're asking about.

Speaker 1:

One of the coolest things that I've heard executives and vice presidents and even CEOs say and this is in my current organization but then also in other organizations in very high up places and even Jocko Willink, who many of you all may be familiar with, the author of Extreme Ownership Navy SEAL is very open about saying these three words I don't know. And then, following these three words, I don't know, and then following, I will find out, I don't know. I remember the first time that I heard a very high up vice president in our company in a review say I don't know to a question that he was asked, a complex engineering question that tied back to something that the FAA was very publicly investigating at Boeing, and when I heard him say I don't know, my mind first went to oh my God, this guy is about to get roasted torched. What do you mean? You don't know? Roasted torched. What do you mean? You don't know? I thought you had to know everything. When you're at that level, I internalized that I created some silly definition and expectation that the higher up you go, the more you must always know.

Speaker 1:

Certainly, generally speaking, those that move up to higher positions or have their own organizations. Maybe they know a little bit more than the everyday person, maybe. But one of the most powerful things is even being able to say I don't know, but I will find out. We don't have to have all the answers out. We don't have to have all the answers Going back to the beginning. This might be a stupid question. No, the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. There are no stupid questions. It's okay to not know. It's okay to not have knowledge about something, but don't go ahead and start off with this might be stupid, but dot, dot, dot, not confident. You could get passed on for a future opportunity just by saying that.

Speaker 1:

Another one is you're not going to like this, but this may be common, more common in the relationship world. You're not going to like this, but now what is that doing? We're automatically creating or sending a program for someone else to download in their mind. Okay, whatever this, I I'm not going to like this. Dot dot dot. You're not going to like this, but I forgot to do the dishes. Maybe someone might not actually like that. I forgot to do the dishes. Maybe someone might not actually like that. But what's something else you're not going to? You're really not going to like this, but the freeway exit is closed. Well, that's out of my control anyways, but I'm not going to program it into your mind that now you're not going to like this thing. This is really going to upset you, but dot dot dot. Well, now we're programming this person to potentially become upset and potentially not like a situation that is not in our grasp. So that's another one where that can be reframed with.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to let you know about dot dot dot. Or. Here's something that is important for you to know right now, because typically, if it's a, you're not going to like this, but or this is going to accept you, but you're bringing it up because it's but, or this is going to accept you, but you're bringing it up because it's something relevant enough for that person to know in that moment. So I've replaced that with I'm letting you know about dot dot dot, being upfront with it, but I'm not going to create this program in your mind. That's going to potentially then create this emotion that I really don't want to experience from you or have you use somewhere else. I don't want to say this is going to make you mad. But and then now you get mad at me or you go into your next meeting mad. You get mad at your partner, your spouse, because you downloaded the program that I sent you.

Speaker 1:

Our minds are so malleable I literally look at our mind, and a lot of research backs this that we just have a computer program going on upstairs and our brains there's a topic of neuroplasticity are very malleable and our beliefs today and our beliefs today. We can completely rewire our belief systems, our language, our responses to certain things, and I believe that's so powerful and beautiful that we possess that ability and we can reprogram our bodies, minds and souls to react to certain situations in different manners, to use powerful language at all times, to recognize when we are stating self-limiting beliefs, to find the good in everything, because there's always an abundance of it. So I also see a responsibility to us, not only to manage the programs that we're downloading, but also what are the programs that we're sending to others to download into their minds. Therefore, negative preambles are no bueno. The last one, which is very common, is sorry if this doesn't make sense, but dot dot dot. Replace that with let me know if I can clarify this further dot dot dot because sorry if this doesn't make sense. Well now, what program am I sending to you? Oh, I'm going to confuse you. You should be confused by what I'm going to say next. So negative preambles are really undercut to your confidence before you can even get your point across. Yet these are things that we often use every day and again, these are things that halt us or prevent us from always utilizing powerful language.

Speaker 1:

So one of my favorite quotes as we move into self-talk and self-limiting beliefs is by Henry Ford. And Henry Ford was an innovator, pushed past everybody that told him that the Model T was a dumb car, a dumb concept, and that he's never going to succeed, and kept going anyway because he had a vision so strong and believed in himself and his vision in mind that it didn't matter what people said. He was going to go get that thing done and execute. My favorite Henry Ford quote is if you think you can or you can't, you're right. This all goes back to the programming and I like to even say if you believe you can or you can't, you're right. But if you believe you can, really that would stop right there. But think versus believe. I'm going to take believe, but if you think you can or you can't, you're right.

Speaker 1:

What he is saying is that if you can program, if you can download a program that sees you completing a marathon, you can complete a marathon. If you download a program that shows you never completing a marathon, you are not going to complete a marathon. So to put this into perspective or to put this into action, when I'm often talking to people about my recent experience at a marathon or a certain race, it's not uncommon for someone to say man, I could never do that, I could never run that far. And I tell them first well, you're right, and you know why you're right, because you said that, because you programmed that into your mind. Now I follow that with an invitation to hey, the only reason why you can't do that or why you won't be able to do that or why you won't do it, period, isn't because of your physical ability. It's because you literally just programmed in your mind right there that you are not capable and you cannot do that thing. Therefore, yeah, you probably will not run that marathon or run that distance or start that business or reach out to that person. Yet these are things that we hear people say all the time. Man, I could never. I could never do that. How about? Man, I'd love to be able to do that. I'm working to be able to do that, because now we're programming in our mind that it's possible and that we're going to take action on it.

Speaker 1:

Another one man I always mess that up. I always slice it into the woods. Imagine saying that for my now we'll go into sports and my golfing friends you tee it up. Man, I always always slice it left into the woods, right there. Imagine thinking that right before you get onto the tee box on that particular hole, what is now being programmed? And putting it top of mind in your brain I'm going to slice it into the woods. And, sure enough, guess what your brain is going to serve you damn well there. Because what are you going to do? You're going to slice it into the freaking woods or duck hook it or whatever your miss is. That's what you're going to do, man. I always, always, screw this one thing up. Well, the next time you do it, you're probably going to do it again, because you just declared it, you just downloaded that program and that computer is going to run that program. If you say that what you can replace it with is I'm working to get better at dot dot dot. I'm improving my skills. Dot dot dot. I'm working to keep the ball on the right side of the fairway so I don't duck hook it left. I've been aiming, I've been practicing hitting more of my shots right. Just think about that program. Another one man I'm not good enough for that. I can't do that. I can't go get that job.

Speaker 1:

Why Did someone say that to you, or are you creating that in your mind? Right now? Most of the things that we often speak out, especially as it relates to this, are based off of narratives that we've created in our minds that have no factual evidence, that are not backed by things that people have told you. We just go on and tell these stories and then hold them true. It's often ourselves that hold us back, more than anything in life and when you really dissect it and what's holding you back. And if I looked at all the programs in your mind or in people's minds people I've had the opportunity to work with there's a lot of this in there and these are easy to rewire out Easy. It takes work, but it's easy. It's not rocket science. It's complex or it gets difficult in execution and committing to the process. So it's my wish that, as I've been bringing this up, that you've been hearing either things that you say or things that are similar to what I've been bringing up and taking note of that so you can reframe that and rewire it, so you don't potentially hold yourself back and create an unintended consequence simply around language.

Speaker 1:

Now here's some self-limiting beliefs and, especially now that we're in the middle of the year, some people may be looking at their goals board like, man, this just, we'll, just 2026 will be better. They're already counting 2025 out and I'm thinking, man, are you crazy? We're just getting started. Six months, you can change your life completely. I'm thinking about a quote from Sahil Bloom that he says you're one year away from people saying you got lucky. And you could even say that about you're six months away from people saying you got lucky. It doesn't take an entire lifetime or an eternity to really make your dreams come true.

Speaker 1:

One of the ones I'm hearing right now is man, I'm just not disciplined. Now, I believe I've ingrained this enough into your mind at this point that that program you just created is you're not disciplined, you don't have it, you don't have the tools. How about I'm learning to build discipline? I'm focusing on becoming more disciplined, and here's how I'm doing it. Think about how that lands in that program.

Speaker 1:

Success is for people with more talent than me. There's another one how about? Success comes from consistency, and I'm working on becoming more consistent. From what I've observed, people that are successful are really consistent. So I'm working on my consistency. You see what I'm saying here, folks, that these programs in our mind, it's important to audit the programs that, or the scripts that we've written, rather, and are those useful for your life right now? And so much of it goes back to the words that we speak, and even the words that we think and speak into our minds and the dialogue that we have with ourselves.

Speaker 1:

If you don't believe you're disciplined, then say I'm working on building discipline. If you don't believe that you're qualified for a certain job right now, that you really want for a certain job right now that you really want. Say that I'm working to become more skilled in XYZ so that I can gain this job in the future. Don't say that, man, I could never launch a business, and that's for people that are just way more talented. Hey, launching a business is one of my dreams and I'm actively studying ways that I can go and get it done. I'm not going to try to go and work out tomorrow. I'm going to set my alarm early and go execute. I know you're not going to like this, but dot dot dot. Hey, I want you to know about situation. Dot dot dot. I'm not going to create a program in your mind that's going to then potentially create an emotion that I don't want to experience from you.

Speaker 1:

Language is the creator of all things and something to be taken extremely seriously.

Speaker 1:

The words that we speak are what create life, are what create the opportunities, are what create our dreams, personally, professionally, the people that are in our lives.

Speaker 1:

It took language to welcome in and entice and build with the person that, or people that you love most right now.

Speaker 1:

The words that we speak matter, and it's my wish that there were many calls to action, or at least one call to action for you in this episode, in that one thing we can focus on and, by the way, these are things that with the exception of try, because I believe that is so far wired out of me other than making examples, but these are things that I'm constantly listening for, both in my own self-talk and what I'm putting out into the world, but then also what I'm listening to from others, and I'm always creating an invitation for someone to be aware, to be made aware first. Hey, do you know, by saying that, that this is what could be getting created, so that they, too, can experience the benefits of using powerful language? We are all powerful creators. You are a powerful creator, you have all the tools to succeed, and it's my wish that you're extremely intentional about your language so that you can continue to win, not hold yourself back and create an abundance of opportunities and amazing people in your life and win today. Thank you so much you.

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