Win Today

#207 | The Unintended Consequences of Ambition: Finding Peace In 'Doing Enough'

• Season 5

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Ever felt like no matter how much you accomplish, it's never enough? You're not alone. Ambition—that driving force behind achievement—can sometimes lead us into what I call "the unintentional abyss of ambition," where periods of stillness or rest become sources of self-criticism rather than rejuvenation.

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own recent struggles with feeling insufficient despite evidence to the contrary. Drawing on Dr. Ben Hardy's powerful concept of "the gap and the gain," we explore why high performers often measure themselves against idealized standards (the gap) rather than acknowledging how far they've come (the gain). Through real examples—from marathon runners fixating on qualifying times rather than celebrating personal records, to my own tendency to overlook the transformative impact of my work because I haven't reached arbitrary numeric goals—we unpack this common mindset trap.

The most powerful moment comes from a community member who lost 30 pounds and completely transformed his relationship with discipline. His journey from believing change was impossible to creating sustainable healthy habits for himself and his family perfectly illustrates the power of living in "the gain." I also recommend Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is: The Work" as a resource for questioning the stories we tell ourselves and optimizing our way of being rather than just our external achievements.

Whether you're building a business, pursuing fitness goals, or working on personal growth, this episode will help you recognize when you're falling into the gap and give you practical tools to shift your perspective. Remember, you are special and amazing—don't let ambition blind you to that truth. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this message, and join my Unshakable Discipline community if you're ready to build sustainable discipline in all areas of your life.

Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Wednesday podcast, a weekly resource thoughtfully crafted to help people build and refine discipline, accomplish their goals, fortify their mindsets and be of service to somebody in this world. My name is Ryan Cass and I am your host, and it is my mission and commitment to deliver amazing episodes to you every week where you'll learn from myself or renowned expert in their field. We love helping people win in every aspect of their lives, and you can help us win by sharing the show with somebody that you believe will benefit from it, subscribing and leaving a rating and review. We believe that everybody in this world is meant to do something great with their lives and we're here to help play a role in that. Thank you for tuning in and let's win today.

Speaker 2:

I never thought that there could be consequences to ambition. And you might be thinking what do you mean? How could there be a consequence for being ambitious? And what I've found over my life and now being dedicated to high performance and serving others and balancing a bunch of different things at once, is that there are times where it then can feel like you're not doing enough, because you should always be doing something, or at least that's I'm seeing the narrative that can take place in the minds of high performers, because I often have this discussion with clients, people in my mastermind, a lot of friends that we will beat ourselves up so much as high performers and ambitious people in periods of stillness or when we might not be doing something that aligns to our goals, our visions, our dreams, and it's a tough place to be in, it's a dangerous place to be in at times, because then it can dissolve our visibility for everything that we've done to get to that very place and that very moment where we may be experiencing this thoughts or pressure of not doing enough or not being enough, not having enough. I've been in a little bit of a tough spot lately, and what I'm grateful for with that is it gives an opportunity to practice and refine these tools that I'm often putting out into the world for you, whether it's on the podcast or within my mastermind group, the Unshakable Discipline group in that community. It's an opportunity to practice what you preach. So I say that smiling, in that I'm grateful for the opportunity to sharpen up the sword a little bit and this moment, or these moments recently where I'm certainly have been feeling a little down with life situations, and now I get to practice showing people hey, here's what you do when you encounter that and here's what you do when you may find yourself in the unintentional abyss of ambition. Maybe there's something to be said there, the unintentional or the abyss of ambition.

Speaker 2:

My first reminder is to go back to the gap and the gain approach and ask yourself are you living in the gap? Are you living in the gain? The gap and the gain, if you're not familiar, or, as a refresher, is coined from Dr Ben Hardy, in that when we're living in the gain, which is where we want to be, in that when we're living in the gain, which is where we want to be, we are constantly aware and in recognition of the journey and where we've gone and what it has taken for us to get to this very moment, right here. And that can apply to your personal life, to your professional life, what it has taken for you to get to that very moment. When you're living in the game, you are not in recognition of the journey and what it took for you to get there and the goalpost is constantly moving and you're constantly feeling as if you're behind, you're not enough, you haven't done enough. There's more to be had. Examples of that and living in the gap.

Speaker 2:

I'll give you a couple personal ones. One living in the gap In this very moment, in that I'm feeling a little sad down on myself. I recognize, or rather down on myself, in that there's more that, not even more. How could I have let this happen? Could I have let this happen? How could I have let these things happen and been so overly empathetic to where I was blind to the things I was sacrificing, and be upset with myself, and I've caught myself in the spot a few times now. That's living in the gap, living in the game, gap, living in the game. We've got the same situation, but everything that I've done up to that point to help make it better, to help improve myself, to recognize my anxious responses and how those have improved and in some cases diminished, and to recognize or see that I'm making up less stories in my mind as it relates to the relationship side of the house and I've invested in resources and therapy to help calm the nerves and understand and recognize triggers better. That is living in the game and that getting to this very moment, right here there have been so many improvements made.

Speaker 2:

Living in the gap from a physical perspective because I hear this one a lot. Living in the gap from a physical perspective because I hear this one a lot someone just ran a 259 marathon and maybe they're upset because it wasn't a 255. Now the new Boston qualifying standard, and they completely forget about everything that it took for them to run that 259, even if that 259 was a PR, it could have been a massive PR. Living in the gap means that, oh well, the new target now is 255. The hell with the PR, or I'm mad because it's not 250. And the goalpost is constantly changing and then when you run that 255, then you're upset that it wasn't a 245. Is constantly changing and then when you run that 255, then you're upset that it wasn't a 245. That is living in the gap.

Speaker 2:

My friends, the consequence of ambition can put us in the gap, often because we're not taking time to ask the questions and do the homework and take note of everything that could be influencing our way of being. One thing that I was beating myself up about is that, with the unshakable community, from a numbers perspective, it's not where I want it to be, meaning, you know, enrolling 100 members and I was beating myself up about that for a little bit, and that certainly there's. There's things to be done and things in work right now to help get that back on the horse, but the people that are in are making amazing, amazing transformations and progress. So while I was catching myself in the gap the other day, here's something that came through from one of the members in the group, an incredible testimonial. Working with Ryan Cass over the last 180 days has completely transformed me inside and out. With his guidance, I've developed unshakable discipline in my mind and my body. I've lost 30 pounds, but, more importantly, I've gained clarity, consistency and confidence that I never had before.

Speaker 2:

This isn't just a physical change. It's a lifestyle shift. Ryan didn't just give me a plan. He helped me build a mindset of accountability, focus and inner strength. I'm not the same person. I was months ago and I'm never going back. That's from a gentleman that the first time I had a phone call with him one of the first phone calls we had he talked about how, when presented with two food choices, whether it's the cheeseburger or the salad, he can't possibly choose the salad and there's no way that he can stop with his diet and eating the things that he wants and the temptations. There's no way His words To now. For months, every Tuesday and we have our call he's taking his whole family to the gym.

Speaker 2:

Living in the gap would be completely disregarding that, because there's not 100 people in the group and everything it took to even form this group to put it out there in the world, to push past the thoughts of what are other people going to say and think. Here's the secret most people aren't thinking about you as much as you imagine. Meaning we'll put these stories in our minds, that man, they're going to make so much fun of me and they're going to think this and that and this and that and this, and that they're probably thinking the same thing about somebody else. Meaning it's these stories we're putting in our minds. So my wish for you all this week is that, as you may be going through something difficult or encounter something difficult in the future, to live in the game and catch yourself whenever you're in the gap. It's normal for anybody to fall into the gap. Don't lose sight of what it took for you to get to where you are right now.

Speaker 2:

I encourage you to consistently take inventory so that you can optimize your way of being. There's an amazing book called the Work that I've been reading through and it's all about how to again optimize your way of being, to not create so many stories in your minds Loving what Is the work by Byron Katie. Loving what Is by Byron Katie. Highly recommend checking that out so that you can optimize your way of being, not fall victim to ambition and the unintended consequences that it may bring. You are special. You're amazing. I encourage you, encourage you to live in the game and win today. Thank you.

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