Ever find yourself wrestling with a tornado of thoughts, unsure which ones to follow towards a life of high performance and personal growth?
Jamie Damsker is a High Performance Coach and helps us challenge the notion that we are our thoughts and provides strategies to steer these mental narratives towards our aspirations. Together, we dissect the staggering number of daily thoughts that buzz through the human mind and how we can sift through them to find clarity, set meaningful goals, and truly master our thought patterns.
You are NOT your thoughts. This episode will teach you how to create power and see the possibilities that YOU have inside of you now.
Connect With Jamie!
Website
LinkedIn
Create Powerful Course
Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
Keep in touch below!
Ever find yourself wrestling with a tornado of thoughts, unsure which ones to follow towards a life of high performance and personal growth?
Jamie Damsker is a High Performance Coach and helps us challenge the notion that we are our thoughts and provides strategies to steer these mental narratives towards our aspirations. Together, we dissect the staggering number of daily thoughts that buzz through the human mind and how we can sift through them to find clarity, set meaningful goals, and truly master our thought patterns.
You are NOT your thoughts. This episode will teach you how to create power and see the possibilities that YOU have inside of you now.
Connect With Jamie!
Website
LinkedIn
Create Powerful Course
Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
Keep in touch below!
The 90 to 95% of all of our thoughts, which are really non useful as it relates to being inconsistent with our results. They're not really going to go away because you've got a part of your brain that's just looking to maintain the status quo and protect you. It'll be there till our last breath and I want it there if I ever need fight or flight, if I want to generate emotions like love and happiness or tears. You know someone dies I want to cry, so always be there.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the win today podcast, a weekly tool intentionally crafted to help people enhance performance, feel inspired and conquer life.
Speaker 2:Our commitment is that you will learn from some of the most disciplined, heartwarming and inspiring people on the globe, in addition to receiving a piece of a winning playbook from myself or a renowned expert in their field.
Speaker 2:My name is Ryan Cass and I'm your host, and it is my purpose in this world to inspire people, to establish a foundation for sustained success by developing systems that will enable you to accomplish your goals, break systemic trends of adversity and chart a desirable course for life. Thank you so much for tuning in. Please help us achieve our vision of becoming one of the top podcasts in the world by subscribing to the show, sharing it with somebody who you believe will benefit from it and leaving a review. So let's connect with our guest. When we think about being in this world and optimizing performance, it's an honor to have somebody that I consider really a master of being and a high performance coach and father and husband. He is multifaceted and really helps people explore the possibilities of their lives, and someone that I'm honored to call a mentor and a friend. Welcome, jamie Damsecker, to the show.
Speaker 1:Thank you, ryan, appreciate being here.
Speaker 2:It's an honor. Your work is compelling in that you help people explore possibilities that they have within themselves and you teach us that we're all master creators and we all possess the ability to be a master creator. Now, before we dig into performance, and as people learn more about you, they may think that and this Jamie guy, he's got it all and he's not human. I always start off with well, what makes Jamie Damsecker human?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I love the question because I am absolutely no different than anybody else when we say we all have it in us. That's not a catch it all phrase, it is accurate. It's accurate. And what makes me human? Now you got to be careful about the words that we use human as in a distinction, or just what makes me, me Human is in what makes you a normal person or just common amongst all of us beings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the common thread thanks for the clarification is I, like everyone else, walks through the world with a handful of thoughts and 30,000 to 60,000 a day, and they're no different than anybody else's. Like, I have the thoughts that bring up things about fear and doubt and hesitation, and the thoughts that come up that generate emotions. Sometimes it's all useful and they're scientifically speaking. The vast majority of that chain of events thought to feelings is not useful, not useful, and I define that as not consistent with that which we say we want to create in our lives. And I've got all of that in spades, just like everybody else does. So I would say that is the I call it the human condition. And look, I wouldn't want any of it away because I didn't have all that and be a robot wouldn't be very fun.
Speaker 2:Now, as you bring that up in the stat you just shared, that we have 30,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. I like to bring that up in the context of when it comes to goal setting and writing things down. Because we have this abundance of thoughts, the best way to create clarity in our lives is to actually be with those thoughts and put them on paper and then understand oh, maybe what I really want in this life isn't what I'm thinking. If someone were to go to your LinkedIn profile and study your posts. In addition to that, I listened to you on a podcast where there's multiple instances of you saying that your thoughts are not your thoughts, your thoughts are not real and only 5% of our thoughts are actually useful. Provide some more context around this. You are not your thoughts, because someone might hear that and think what the heck? This Jamie guy is crazy. Yeah, what does that mean?
Speaker 1:Let me clarify one point you made or correct it. It's not that our thoughts aren't real, it's that our thoughts aren't true, they're just thoughts. When I say you're not your thoughts, here's what comes up for me. Here's what I believe happens. Most people will just hear that man, that's interesting. But it's interesting to most people, like when we learn that Pluto wasn't a planet anymore. Oh, that's interesting. But unless you're an astronomer or you create educational books about the nine planets in the solar system, it doesn't really have an impact on you. It's just sort of interesting. Most people when they hear you're not your thoughts will have that kind of relationship with that. And to me that's a bit tragic because, unlike the idea of Pluto, it literally, if you take it on like there's some accuracy to you're not your thoughts, or take it on from a place of how can I use that? It can literally transform your life. Like you mentioned, if I can expound upon it, you have all these thoughts and you can write them down for clarity. Well, what if I'm not doing the work or I'm even awake to the idea that just because that ticker tape of thoughts is going through my head, I don't have to take them all on like they're true and unfortunately we're not conditioned to question our thoughts. So I'm going to sit down and try to get clarity with that cacophony of noise happening in my head. That's a challenge. It may work.
Speaker 1:Now imagine if you're someone who is willing to question their thoughts, which takes work. It takes a lot of work because you and I have been conditioned since we were young kids to just not to do it. No one's ever taught us that. Our parents have demonstrated the opposite. You do something wrong, your parent gets upset. What's really happening is your parent has a thought. Man Ryan shouldn't be doing that. I'm upset about it. It creates an emotion and a reaction and you and I, we mirror that.
Speaker 1:So if someone is willing to look to question their thoughts, can I give one example? Absolutely yeah. You're driving down the road, it's a beautiful day, the sun is out, you feel good, you're in a good mood, it's so good that it makes you want to take a break, and so life is good. It triggers an emotion and a feeling and you react to it. That question. Five seconds later, someone cuts you off and immediately you're upset. You have the thought that's wrong. This guy is bon bon bon. It generates because emotions are preceded by thought. They can't not be. They'll just come out of thin air. You believe the thought you have, that man, I'm upset, you don't question it. And now, all of a sudden, you've gone from one amazing day to you're angry at the person in front of you. Now let me say something about that example, because to some people it may seem well, let's kind of try it, so what? And yeah, I agree, two minutes later you forget about it and you're back to your other state.
Speaker 1:But what about when that occurs and it has a real, meaningful impact on your life? Like man, I always wanted to start my own business and the thought comes up who am I to do that? Yo, I got a wife, I got kids. Am I really gonna create that type of financial risk? What do I know about my own business? What like?
Speaker 1:On and on and on, and those unquestioned thoughts just sit there and it creates the emotions, fears and, most tragically, it creates an action which in this case, would be inaction, and we spend our entire lives living with this.
Speaker 1:I'll call it low level anxiety, because there's that little voice that wants to have us go and do the thing or try the thing and we're not willing because we just don't even think about it to question the thought that says that's too hard. You can't do that Now and I have a sense, because I know you, that there are examples in your own life of what I just said. Where look? You and I are sitting here on a podcast right now and, like, I know a little bit about you starting this podcast and I know a little bit about how successful it is right now, and I have a feeling you don't have to answer this. You could, if you want. When you first had the idea of putting the other podcast and growing it to what it is now, and then some, you probably had some little voices in your head like, oh, should I put the time into it? Is there an opportunity cost of doing it to this? So surely podcast does that sound?
Speaker 2:right, absolutely. It's that protectionary human that is coming to life. So for somebody to really explore the truly explore the possibilities that they have for their lives. What I'm hearing is it's important that we question our thoughts, and one thing I've learned about my audience I have an epistemological audience. I remember that from You're a good company, and what does somebody who has a strong relationship with their thoughts? What do they do? What is their, what is the process or what's a recommendation on how we can be in more alignment with our thoughts? And is it as simple as always questioning them, or are there a few more steps and practices that-.
Speaker 1:That's a good question, and I'll introduce an expression that you've heard before from me and when you joined us at the Great Powerful Course seat time, like what I'm fond of saying about this work, and this work is bigger than the conversation we're having. The work as far as creating yourself as a powerful leader, the work itself is simple it's like flicking a light switch, literally but the work is hard, simple and hard. The hard part is only hard because of our relationship with our thoughts. Now, that could sound well. That's kind of easy. Anyone should be able to do it. We can, but think about if you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years old. Think about all of that seat time you have of not questioning your thoughts. It's a lot. I would suggest to anyone start small, and that's a place to start Like. Look, there's something I've always wanted to do.
Speaker 1:Given the time of year, new Year's resolutions come to mind and this sounds kind of cliche, but think about people who make a New Year's resolution about getting fit and going to the gym. Now, look, I've been to my gym this week and it's packed, and I know that a few weeks from now I'll see the familiar faces I saw two months ago. What if someone just sent to themselves look, there's not a lot at stake here. It's not like the business thing I mentioned or the financial risk of starting a new business. I'm just going to make sure I go to the gym four times a week, something like that. Or I'm gonna track my calories and my macros. So in both, yeah, just do that.
Speaker 1:And when the thought comes up, oh, it's cold outside, I don't wanna go to the gym, just be present, like, oh, look at that. By the way, that happens to me. Back to your original question about what makes me human. I promise you, because I try to go to the gym almost every day, those thoughts come up almost every day and if I'm not careful, the thoughts that will follow it will justify it. See, we're really masterful at the thought. And then it builds upon itself and, before you know it, you have concrete evidence just up here about why you shouldn't do something. What if you just were present to that? We're looking for the thought it came up. Ha ha, jamie and Ryan talked about that. Let me just be with that thought. Let me hold it out and play with it Like it's just a thought. It's not me, it's just a thought. What is that thought? It's too cold to go to the gym, okay, is that consistent with what I wanna create? No, okay, what would it be like if I put it aside and then I lace up my shoes and go to the gym? Fortunately, my experience is it's like building a muscle the more you do it, the easier it gets to do.
Speaker 1:By the way, those non-useful thoughts the 90 to 95% of all of our thoughts, which are really non-useful as it relates to being inconsistent with our results, they're not really gonna go away, because you've got a part of your brain that's just looking to maintain the status quo and protect you. It'll be there till our last breath and I want it there. If I ever need fight or flight, if I want to generate emotions like love and happiness or tears. Someone dies, I wanna cry, so they'll always be there. But what we'll find is what I find as a profound shift in someone's life is when they realize that those thoughts don't hold much weight in their life. They still might I mean, we can all fall asleep to it, granted, but for the most part you wake up one day you're like, hey, look, there's still that. But I can't remember the last time I shrunk with fear from something. I'll give you an example, may I an Aslee example of this guy.
Speaker 1:Back in November I had a thought I wanna create an event here in Charleston to give back to the local community. I wanna do it for free. You know I have a relatively superficial relationship with our local business community because when I first moved here I was doing government consulting work, didn't have to interact much. My coaching work sometimes I have a client here, but for the most part and my speaking work is outside the Charleston area I just and I love it here I wanted to give back. So I told myself I'm gonna create an event, I'm gonna invite people to it and, by the way, I'm in the middle of creating it right now. I promise you, between November and today, if I was able to quantify my thoughts thoughts that have me shrink from it, thoughts that have me lean into it these grossly outweigh these and if I did not have a relationship with my thoughts like they're not true, they're just thoughts, I promise you, ryan, that I would not be doing what I'm gonna create next month.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Now, what I appreciate about that and going back to the first question is that even for somebody that has a strong relationship with their thoughts and conditions themselves, because it is a muscle, it's something that if you, for whatever reason, get in the practice of not questioning your thoughts, then that first voice that you mentioned is gonna start winning more than the second one, and I love that.
Speaker 2:That, regardless of who you are whether you're the person with the strongest relationship, the thoughts in the world or you're just getting started it's never a matter of eliminating that voice, because it just it will never go away. And one thing I like to ask myself and I got this from you and I practice is whatever maybe I have a thought launching the podcast, nobody's gonna download it, it's not gonna reach 100 plus episodes. Why would I keep going? And then I have conditioned myself to counter those thoughts with what makes this true right now. And oftentimes I can't give you a great answer when I ask myself that question. So if I offer another question to folks listening to the thoughts that we have that aren't true, ask yourself what makes that thought in this given moment true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Now if I put a theme around where we're going right now, it's really on unlocking high performance, and you are a high performance coach. Now, when people hear high performance, I've had coaches on here in the past and it occurred to me that I've never really put a definition or a definition around. High performance hasn't come about in my interviews with performance coaches. So can we clear it a little clarity around what is high performance and what does that mean for someone to be high performance not to have it, but to be high performance, yeah.
Speaker 1:What I love about my work Period Add more. Now I'm looking at it, the person seeing across from me. They define what high performance or performance, whatever word it is, progress, results, outcomes are the eight. Every person is unique. Now, imagine you've got a human being who has inside of them these dreams, these goals, these ideas, and I love working with people who have those. And they're bold, like they're big, you know. Look, I can. A lot of people. They wanna play life from the couch, you know, with Netflix and a bag of Cheetos, but nothing wrong with that. I watch TV too, but if I consider across from someone who is almost like a Ferrari but they're in the garage man they're just looking at to break out, they define what does that garage door opening look like? What is, literally, what is the racetrack?
Speaker 1:Now, there is some commonality though, like whether you tell me, man, I wanna be the number one podcast host on the planet, or someone says I wanna be the best football player in the United States, or anything in between. I wanna create this. The common themes are one. What's in the way? And I think we've talked quite a bit about the number one thing that's in the way, which is our own thoughts. Some people label it other things like limiting beliefs, which I think is another accurate way to put it. So if we can upgrade our relationship, those thoughts and I'm gonna introduce another word that you and I talked about on the phone and it's a word that I know is near and dear to your heart words velocity.
Speaker 1:What I know to be accurate is the time or space between the thought of action and the doing. There is a relationship between how much time we put between the two and us really being an action to do it. What happens is the longer the time meaning, the greater the space in between the two. It is nothing more than opportunity for this to fill that gap with that 90 to 95% of thoughts that aren't useful, and it slows us down. High performance looks like I shrink the time and the space between the thought and the action, and I'll use an as lived example.
Speaker 1:What I was talking about this event that I'm looking to create I was an action one to declare it to people and then, somewhat publicly I've done it, but not until I get more details will be bigger. It's amazing. Once I put it out there, it started me feeling in action and it makes the head trash that fills that gap. It makes it almost moot because it doesn't matter anymore. Like I've already put it out there, I'm going to do this there's an element of commitment that shows up, and from that place that's a real special word for me, by the way, commitment From that place, it's like a propellant. And what I love about the word velocity, besides it having an aviation connection, it's a combination of both speed and direction.
Speaker 1:Notice, I didn't say just have a thought about something, go do it. There's got to be some intentionality and some alignment between it and the things that we discover behind all those thoughts you want to do Like to me, that's where the magic is Move the thoughts, transcend the thoughts, get to clarity, to use your word, about what it is that I want to create. Most people if they say look, I don't know what I want, usually that's not accurate. It's just buried in there. So far. That, to me, is one of my favorite things to help someone discover Some people use the term there why, that's fine Discover the thing that gets them out of bed, where Mondays don't feel any different than Fridays, and then, once they get that clarity to be with them, to look at what's the action to get there?
Speaker 1:And from the point of discovering, okay, what's the step I need to take, who do I need to be to take that step? Do it Like create some accountability, go do it. And once you start doing that again to echo something I said earlier you get seat time and then when the next thing comes up or the next bigger thing comes up that can seem daunting because you've built an experience in your own self that you can do this it just goes faster. It's like, yeah, and you go faster and before you know it, you wake up one day and your whole way of being is transformed and you look at the excess of nose in your life and probably it's not always financially related, in fact, most times it's not and you're like man, how did this happen? Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's amazing, it's absolutely amazing.
Speaker 2:So what I heard is that high performance. There's not a singular definition for it. It's how we view it and we are ultimately the definition of high performance. And to achieve that, there are a few things that one must do. One, build a positive relationship with thoughts. Become mastery with your thoughts, in that you are somebody who constantly questions their thoughts, so you can then get to which are useful and eliminate the 90 to 95% that are not useful. In addition to that, if we're making this a formula to some degree, to introduce velocity into your life, and velocity being that there's a thought of whatever the case may be, an example of that is when you actually reached out to me. You had an inquiry about how I incorporate systems into my life. What do systems look like and what I appreciate about you? Jamie is, and for folks that are tuned in, jamie reached out to me not too long ago with an inquiry about how I approach systems, things that I talk about a lot on the podcast and in my work. Goals are great, but what enables you to accomplish a goal is to build effective systems. Jamie was curious In that moment. Jamie reached out to set up a call so we can talk through systems.
Speaker 2:Had you allowed your thoughts to take over, that conversation may not have occurred, and for many reasons. That one included. Velocity is actually my word for 2024. Because when I'm thinking about all of the things that I intend to create in this new year, what's a gap that I may have had in the past is, you know what, from the initial time that I've thought about something to where I've taken action. I've taken action on quite a bit, but there are still some things that have inched along as I examine it, like you know what, I wasn't really being in velocity in a lot of these moments, because I had a lot of these great thoughts or great ideas, and then I waited and what happened? Those great thoughts and ideas, or what could have been great thoughts and ideas, dissipated. So am I missing anything when I'm going back and describing high performance as we define it? Build a positive relationship with their thoughts and act with velocity.
Speaker 1:That's a good summary, and I'm always hesitant to talk in terms of formulas, and I know you were careful using that word. You said, jamie, my audience is epistemological. For those who don't know the distinction between epistemology and ontology, have you shared that with your audience before?
Speaker 2:I have not Very briefly actually.
Speaker 1:Epistemology, which is the domain within which we all tend to live, is knowing. We're gatherers, like you know, squirrels gathering nuts. We gather information and it's useful, Like if knowledge of a task or some type of skill is necessary. Like I want my surgeon to be epistemologically sound, I'd love him or her to be number one in their class. And the distinction is ontology, which is way of being. What I've shared so far today comes from a place of who am I being? Who am I being with my thoughts when I'm on the operating table and my epistemologically sound doctor nicks an artery and the alarms go off and people are scrambling In that moment? The doctor's way of being if their way of being is I am being a master surgeon it's independent of what they know, it's who they're being and that trumps everything. And an example that I like to share it's an unfortunate one is if you think about that shooting at the elementary school in Florida a couple years ago, there was that one police officer who was unfortunately vilified, but there was video of him hiding behind his police cruiser. You know, that's an example. Now, epistemologically, because I think he was a sergeant, he knew what to do. He probably knew all the penal codes. He probably knew how to act, the steps to take for that very situation or something like it, Yet his way of being had him create fear. Now, I don't say that through judgment, I just say it as an assessment, which is another distinction, and to me that makes the difference. So if my way of being is, I am commitment to those things I say I want to create and I have an upgraded relation with my thoughts, which most of them can get in the way of that. If I come from that place, then you introduce me to systems and a discipline. It turbocharges that Like, yeah, and that's epistemological.
Speaker 1:At a certain point epistemology needs to come into play because that's where, in the real world, concrete things happen. But what's behind it, or pushing it? As I see it, it's how I hold it is who I'm being. I'm sure you know people who have great systems. They buy books, like even sell help books. They put this plan together and they don't get the results they want or they falter the point. Does that mean that the system is broken? No, the system is great. I look at diets you got this diet, this silly diet's out there, and ultimately what I say is look, I don't want to be cavalier about it when it comes to one's health. To me it's not the diet Like look, if you're conscious about your weight or your health nutrition, you're going to see results. But who are you being in it? Am I being commitment to health? You do that. Don't care what diet, you do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love the distinction of being and that's actually something that I look back at my notes quite frequently this whole concept of transcending our human and when I attended the Create Powerful Course in 2022, it threw me in a little bit of a whirlwind for a while, until I continued to study and do the work that we're all human beings at the end of the day, and when you tell someone that's not familiar with this work, it's your human that's acting up, it's your human that's influencing our being. And Antichor's slogan is less human, more being. So what I would offer to folks is that if you're somebody that say desires to be more disciplined in 2024 or committed to a diet, look at it as not something that you have, meaning I have discipline. No, when I wake up early I texted you at four o'clock this morning before a 14 mile run before work I am being disciplined. I believe I am being disciplined, not that I have discipline. So can you create a little more context around this process of being and optimizing our way of being?
Speaker 1:Yeah, one of my favorite succinct expressions around being is how I experience myself, is my way of being. You talked about you getting out of bed at 4 am to go run and work out. Like, even if some people say, well, I have a system where if I'm going to get up in the morning and go to the gym, I notice that if I put my workout clothes out, it helps. Well, if your way of being is, look, I am committed to my health, then that system of putting it out flourishes. But I promise you there are people out there who they will put their clothes out and they are still going to hit the snooze. I will give you an example. I know someone who I think dearly of, who has decided not to drink in the month of January this year, and there was a lot of stuff on social media, you know, looking for declaring it, which I love. It's like me declaring about this event. Like you put it out there and it's like this it has you call yourself fourth into commitment. It just helps. Declare it to yourself, declare it to others. And he was going to an event and he was concerned that oh man, I hope I don't drink, or something like you know there's going to be this event going on, all this stuff. And the comment I shared with him was well, look, if you're committed to not drinking, I know how the night ends for you, I said, and if you're not committed to not drinking, I know how the night ends for you. Yet it's really, it's not hard. Like, like I said, this work is simple. But if I believe the thought like, oh, you know what I'm at this event, it'll look weird if I don't have a drink. I know it's a dry January, I'll just have one, all right, that's the start. And, by the way, I don't judge people when they do that. Like, I want to be really clear that I grant people space for all of that to happen. Yeah, it's not useful not to, and I also would wish for anyone which has me love this work to see that they have a lot more control over creating that future.
Speaker 1:Because you asked me, we goes right back to high performance. You could say not drinking in the month of January for that person, in that time frame, in that context, is high performance for them. And yeah, and if they can do it in January, maybe they wake up on February 1st and say I did it one month, why don't we go one more If it works for them? Or they may say, man, that was really hard, pat themselves on the back for doing that. Maybe it's the first time since they've been an adult they haven't had a drink. And then something completely unrelated comes up in February and because they have seat time in January with drinking in February, they're faced with an opportunity to go ask that person out. Or I'm going to create a whole new level of my health, or I'm gonna go start that business.
Speaker 1:Like you go on and on at nauseam with the pot, like the possibilities are unlimited. You know, when I said you gets to find high performance, and you do. It could be in any domain of your life. You know, hey, you know what I love my marriage. It's great and I'm committed to making it spectacular.
Speaker 1:Now let's say you've been married for 20 years and you have a rhythm with your spouse and you're thinking, man, if I started doing things differently, she would like, she think that's weird, or you know what? She's never gonna change, or all that goes through your head and you squander that opportunity. But let's say you just came off January, you know, with the drinking and you had a successful run of creation in your life, meaning creating, not drinking and maybe that's just a little push. You need, ryan, to say to yourself you know, oh, is it true that I can't change my marriage after 20 years? Go from forgive the use of the term good to great or great to amazing. No, it's not true, it's a thought. It's there. Well, where's the clarity? What am I committed to? I'm committed to my wife feeling like we have a honeymoon 20 years late. Let's say that's the case. Okay, now what's the action I'm gonna take? And those thoughts will still be there, by the way, the non-useful ones about her work. She's gonna think I'm weird, or this is gonna happen, or the kids are looking to be funny if I come home with flowers on and on and on, and it has us withdraw, it has us live small, and so our way of being becomes small. How I occur for myself is my way of being. If I occur for myself as well, that's not gonna work. Then I am, it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1:You know there's a, an analogy. I'll say one last thing about being. Unless you have another question about it and, by the way, thank you for the question you asked being is a being is everything. That is ontology, mm-hmm, you know it's the analogy I've heard someone use is well, look, if I plant a peach pit, where do I grow peaches? Yeah, if I plant cotton, I grow cotton. Well, for you and I, if my way of being is, let's say, I plant love and understanding, I grow love and understanding. It's, it's not magic, and if you're thinking or someone's watching going, well, it can't be that easy. Well, actually can be like I.
Speaker 1:I have experienced everything in my own life that I'm sharing with you that can have me sit across another human being, regardless of what their challenges are. And I've been with people who have had really, really dark challenges in their life, like some of the darkest things, and I can relate to them. It doesn't, I can relate not to the extent that I've experienced what they have. I don't find it to be necessary, but I can relate to them because my own version of my own thing that got in the way, I can relate to them from that place and I can be with someone to have them start to look at that trauma, that thing that's in the way, in a completely different way, in the ways that you know I've been talking about and watch their way of being shift from I am being a victim of this thing that happened to me to I am being taking my life back. It's it's quite moving for me to see someone do that and because it popped in my head this thing about high performance, I've been with a stay-at-home mom who high performance was with her, for her was create a home for her husband and their children and their grandchildren that were coming along.
Speaker 1:That was extraordinary powerful. And I'm there with CEOs who have been looking to create billion-dollar companies and while their context is different, there's more in common than not and all the things we've been talking about. The CEO has those thoughts, I promise you. You find anyone in the corner office with a big desk and they've got those same limiting thoughts. Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm not surprised by that. Game. Revealed anyone anymore?
Speaker 2:yeah, nobody is exempt from the thoughts, regardless of who we are, what we may have achieved in our life or what we are seeking to achieve. These thoughts will always find us. Now, as you've been speaking, the word commitment, committed, has come up, and you mentioned that the word commitment holds a special place in your heart. Does so much so to where. As I'm preparing for the episode and doing my research on him, one of your previous podcast appearances the episode title Jamie damsger and how to be 100% committed. What makes the word commitment or committed so special to you? Hmm?
Speaker 1:it moves the world. You know I hold in my world commitment is do what's required. And the reason why it's so special to me is because that type of relationship with it is not common. You know, if you think about when we're navigating the world, look, there's 80 plus billion people on this planet. Likely some of them, or the conditions that they can help create, or just the conditions of life, can get in the way of the things we want to create if I'm not committed.
Speaker 1:And, by the way, commitment to me is binary, it's like pregnancy you can't be a little pregnant, you can't be a little committed. If you're 99% committed, you're not committed. And, by the way, that there's freedom in that realization. You know, as an example, I'll be in a conversation with someone and maybe we're looking at, let's say, them joining us at the create powerful course. Or they're telling me something they want to do, or start a business, and well, I'm not really sure I'm not, I'm not, I think. Well, look, just say you're not committed to it yet me making that business happen. Yes, stop creating suffering in yourself, like I'm dancing with this thing. No, just say you're not committed. And when you are committed, you know how you'll know, no, how you'll be an action to do it. And how do I know someone is committed, ryan, because all the conditions and constraints that come up that can get in the way your relationship with them is altered dramatically. They're not showstoppers, they simply are things to get in the way and it's amazing how, coming from that place, how we can navigate them, how we can out create them, whereas I'm, if I'm not committed. Those things, first of all, they loom larger, they carry a lot more weight and oftentimes they have us go. Yeah, you know, maybe next time, okay, just say the words I'm not committed.
Speaker 1:Now, if a question comes up well, what has me not committed, by the way? That's a brilliant question. Yeah, let's look at that. And a lot of times, the things that have us tell ourselves are not committed. Go right back to those thoughts. Yeah, and if I can clear some of that out, I still may not be committed, and that's fine. It's just not.
Speaker 1:It's not the time for me to go and do X, but I don't even where you come from. Who are you being saying that? If I'm being clear about it, if I'm being bold and in my boldness and my clarity about where I'm going in my life, in this particular moment, I'm not committed to doing X, which means you're committed to not doing it. It's beautiful and it just, it removes all of the mischief that we create up here. Yeah, it's. And why don't we admit that? Because we have thoughts that say, oh, I can't say that. Yeah, I'll seem like X if I say I don't want to do it. I love saying no, I'm not going to do that. Thank you for asking me. Or or or, yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't occur to me as something that's useful for me right now. Yeah, I won't commit to it. It really simplifies life, I find.
Speaker 2:I'm sure as someone practices even saying I'm not committed versus maybe Jamie, that I'm not committed, or really, hey, not right now this doesn't align for me in that moment, as you practice that and even build that muscle we're building a lot of muscles here. Yeah, we are. To me, it just occurs as this liberating feeling could be liberating and unlock so many other things. I remember our first meeting. We may have even been in this exact room, hmm, if not maybe the one over.
Speaker 2:You haven't been doing this work for your entire career. You've had a career that has spanned the Air Force and then consulting, and then now entering this field, yeah, where we help people. You help people with being high performance, how they define it, being the possibilities that that they imagine creating those, rather being powerful creators. And I remember a story that you told me about how this work transformed you and as you committed to this work yourself. You told me a story about being out to dinner with your wife and nearly falling out of your chair because she said to you, if I remember correctly, accurately, I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again.
Speaker 1:Well, we talked through the personal transformation of this work and what it's really done for you, aside from working with other beings yeah, the day that I woke up, see, I I'm I'm fortunate in that, not unique, but fortunate that I remember the date and almost the time. I certainly remember the location, which is just down the road from here, at our alma mater where this work, and I found each other the moment that I woke up that morning. First of all, I at the time I didn't even know what a coach was not in this context, you know, I'd look for a whistle around your neck. I knew what a mentor was, but the whole thing about a coach and coaching and let me let me pause and say the word coaching has gotten to be a bit like the word consultant. It means a lot of different things to different people. So I grant people the space for it to mean what it means to them, and it's a very special word for me because it indicates a relationship that's rare and I'll say more about it in my own progression, if that works for you.
Speaker 1:The day I woke up, I was running a consulting practice. We were two owners and me, and we were growing a practice. On the surface, if you looked at me, my life was enviable, beautiful Norwegian life. She's a successful dentist and a pediatric practice, two beautiful young boys. At the time. They may have both still been kind of blonde, they got darker, they both still had blue eyes, like their mom I'm their assessment gene, you know going to the best private school. My business was flourishing. Life was amazing really and, as I look back on it, there was nothing wrong. My marriage was great, me as a parent was great, my relationship with my health was great, like everything was great, and I wouldn't go back to that guy for all of my in the world. There's nothing wrong with that guy. You know, I I because of the fortunate circumstance of finding the work I was able to discover over time and, by the way, I want to be careful of language I use I'm not there and I this work is literally a mountain without a top. Mm-hmm. Like I'm, I'm where I'm at, and where I'm at is progression from where I was yesterday and I'm committed, committed to progressing tomorrow and I promise you, the day I take my last breath, there'll be more progression left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I don't want anyone to hear my words like oh man, he got there. Like you've arrived, there's no peak. Yeah, there is no, no peak. In fact, I'd love to say that to Jen, see what she says. But, um, when I look back on it in my life back then, yeah, I was judgmental, I was always kind, I wasn't a mean guy and I was. I always loved my wife. But me and how I bring myself to my relationship now from a place of non-judgment, from a place of holding a space for and I'm saying my wife but it could be anyone going to talk about my marriage holding a space for my wife's truths about things which is a whole other conversation to be like. I grant her the space for her truth to be her truths, even if they're inconsistent with mine.
Speaker 1:And when I look at the journey, brian, and like your question, by the way, it's a gift to me personally because it has me pause and look at what's in my wake for the past ten years. And it's miracle after miracle, after miracle. And I don't mean, like you know, part, the Red Sea level. Miracle, I mean the little miracles. You know they, the expression death by a thousand paper cunts. I call this life by a thousand miracles.
Speaker 1:And that comes about because of who I'm being. You know you, you create. There's this means the word power, there's this energy about you that has people react to you in a certain way, based upon who you're being and what you find is. They contribute to your life. Even the most casual passing of a barista at Starbucks or or letting a car in front of you in a zipper line, when you let another car, like just those little things, and you see the reaction. You, you communicate gratitude, whether it's materially or with language. While I do it to serve the other person, you know I'm I'm quite selfishly. It feeds me too, and so my journey has been exactly like the journey that I'm committed to helping others create another way. You all have to. We all have to climb that mountain by ourselves. You know, I guess I can consider myself a sherpa in a way, but no one's going to do it for you like.
Speaker 1:I'm not here to make it easier and to be really clear about something the things that get thrown at our lives, that can look like an interruption or an inconvenience, those don't stop coming. You know, I I spent two weeks over the holidays overseas, my boyfriend, I both got COVID. Yeah. I came home to an HVAC system where my heater doesn't work, yeah, and it was cold here. My wife's car didn't start when we got back to the airport, by the way, at 11 o'clock at night, after 24 hours of traveling at the airport here in Charleston, and the distinction between me back then and now. Back then, the thoughts like oh, this is terrible, and the emotions that come with it and I get short with my wife and my kids probably is are staying with our suitcases jet lagged. No, you know what happened at the airport.
Speaker 1:I walked back. I talked to the police at the airport. You know I came from a place of look, these guys can serve me here like they're amazing. They couldn't do enough force, could not do enough force. They did certain things for us that they don't normally do helping us move a luggage back, get to take a cab. The car didn't start.
Speaker 1:I'm it's not a coincidence if I look back at all of these things that people go out of their way to do for me and I'm not asking them to do it. You know where that comes from, who I'm being. Yeah, and and I return it to like I I interact with my neighbors and I I think I took inventory of them just this morning because I had an interaction with one who's got some personal things going on in her life and as she drove away, she blew me a kiss and I started to think you know, I have that type of a relationship with all of my neighbors and the soul what if it is Ryan? It, it, it all contributes to the experience I have of the living of my life here. Yeah, and it doesn't matter. You want to talk about ontological, it doesn't matter what gets thrown at me.
Speaker 1:By the way, do I want to have COVID? Do I want my car not to start? Do I want my kids to add up? Do I want the dog to have an accident? The house no. Do I want my wife to come home having a bad day? No, I don't want that and I can bring myself to those situations in a very different way that serves them and it contributes to their life. That's, that's leadership, mm-hmm. Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you, I appreciate you asking me that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's.
Speaker 2:It goes back even to very first question what makes you human?
Speaker 2:At one point in time there wasn't this, what we call it gratuitous maybe that's not the right word but there wasn't this version of Jamie that would even view a situation as you just described at your you get to the airport after flying 24 hours and you cars not work and HVACs not working at home. There's been this transformation where what I experience, you and maybe it viewed as an opportunity to make that police officers day and make sure he at least had a positive experience of you and maybe that was the best interaction he had the whole day, just because of your way of being with him. I don't know, because I'm sure throughout that day, if, if it was one of the police officers that's sitting and directing traffic at the Charleston airports, by a lot of people looking at him as the bad guy, why don't you just let me go? Come on, you're slowing me up. I want to drop off my passenger and go. Yeah, you created a positive experience for that person that's my, that's always my intention.
Speaker 1:You know there's a. You know my, my, my operative word for 2024 is giving, which is a bit of a catalyst for the, the event that I'm I'm creating. I'm not trying to be vague about it, but I'm I'm in the midst of making it more concrete and to give back, and I have zero expectations about anything for me except quite selfishly. I know the experience I'll have of being in front of a room full of people hopefully most of them I've never met before and create an opportunity to give to them something, if they're open to receiving it, that could make their 2024 end more consistent with what they say they want to be. When they were sitting around over Christmas in 2023 and thinking about it, as opposed to what normally happens is it starts to look like the year before and the year before that and the year before that. I just I want to give that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that and I'm excited to see what what comes of this event at the end of February, and I love that you took action putting it out there now. It made me excited to see your Facebook posts and a short LinkedIn post that are coming, yeah, to inform people of what you're giving to them, and I don't this episode will be out post that date, but my prediction or expectation of that event is that there are several people that attend that have a transformative experience, and I'm excited for you.
Speaker 1:I would I would hope so. You know you can lay the people's feet, but they've got to do the work to to pick it up and try it on and run with it. And yeah, what you and I have been talking about so far, it's not a common conversation, it's. It's just not. And look, there are people out there who I know and I grant them the space to be this way who don't want to, don't want to take it on like that. You know there's a, there's a safety in looking at the outside world as the reasons and the justifications for you know why my life is the way it is. And you know what we didn't, you and I didn't say overtly, but it's to me, it, it underpins everything is man. There is no safety net, so to speak, and if I can live like that, what I can create, it's extraordinary. And you know, even in my, in my speaking, you know like we've talked about the like, the magic of the one-on-one coaching which I, which I, I adore, I just love those relationships, and in my speaking I get to bring that to a certain level at a, at a bigger scale. Yeah, and in that too, I, you know, we didn't really touch upon it and it we only have to. But you know the the neuroscience behind.
Speaker 1:Why is it hard for people? When I say it's simple like a light switch. Why is it hard for people? Let's say they even listen to what you and I are talking about and they want to take it on like they're open to the possibility of what. There's some accuracy in this and yet like, why is it still hard? Why is change hard? Because we're really talking about change and there's there's a real science behind why it's hard and you and I touched upon some of it. You know, and it just takes practice yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:This is work. At the end of the day, that this is work and I'll put a personal testimony in here that, since attending the create powerful course and even got the same notebook, still go back and look in my notes but more so very intentional about practicing this way of being practicing, building a positive relationship with thoughts, practicing this counter question to the thoughts that I do have of well, what makes that real right now? Now, jamie, before we get into our customary rapid fire round, which is how we end the podcast, how do we keep up with you and all the amazing things that you are creating here in 2024 and beyond?
Speaker 1:well, social media, you know I'm, I'm typically, if I had something to share, I'll put it on linkedin and if you and often times you'll see include with that is a picture that may or may not include my dogs, as you know, there's some kind of an obsession with my dogs and if you, if you follow me or find me on instagram or facebook, while I normally include those same things, you also get a really candid look at, like the personal side, and oftentimes, as I said, it includes some ridiculous picture of my dogs with some quote. But it, you know, I I like to put it all out there, you know, but yeah, I do so, but mostly it's that, and you know, I've got my own website, jamiedamskrcom, and we talked about onto court and we talked about the create powerful course and there's onto core, ontocom, and if anyone is interested in even learning anything about the course, which we do twice a year, they can certainly get it there or they can reach out to me.
Speaker 2:yeah, I love that and selfishly. But also what I wish of you for others to experience you is that you put more posts on linkedin, because these are some of the most well written posts that I see. You can tell that they come from the heart. It's not just a popular meme and a few quotes is clickbait starting to see a little bit of that on linkedin now but these are very well written in their thought provoking. So that's my request and wish, selfishly, but for others, but more so for people to keep up with jamie on on all these various outlets and everything will be linked in the notes.
Speaker 2:Now, jamie, it's customary to end with a rapid fire session and I call this one jam, one step, one book. So pretend you and I are going up the elevator, okay, here in the building, and a new person gets on each floor and they're only going up one floor and they get in. They want to ask you a question because they recognize you or they heard this interview, they've seen you on linkedin. So the only amount of time you have to answer their question is the amount of time it takes to go up one elevator floor. So with that, the first one is jamie, what's one gem that you have, whether it be a quote or a mantra that you live your life by, that I can put in my back pocket to optimize my way of being in 2024. Yeah, consistent.
Speaker 1:What we talked about you are not your thoughts, and you transform your relationship with them. It will absolutely create a window for you into a possibility of your life that until now, you probably didn't even dare to dream about hmm, I love that.
Speaker 2:Now the next person gets on. Jamie, what's one step that I can take today to create more power in my life?
Speaker 1:yeah, decker, catch on to why you're easily identify one thing that you want to change, add, eliminate, upgrade in your life and sit with the possibility of what that can look like, what you want it to look like, and take the first step now. Right now is that velocity.
Speaker 2:Yes, last person gets on, and what I've found is that this is one of the more difficult questions for people that are very well read, like you, jamie. What's one book that I can read in 2024 to upgrade my mindset? Wow, there's so many.
Speaker 1:I like to suggest what is probably the first book I ever read. When me and coaching found each other 10 years ago, the person who would go on to be my first coach gave me and the other attendees. This is an e-book and I find it to be timeless. The book is called straight line leadership, and you want me to say why, or just the name.
Speaker 2:Well, we're off the elevator now but we'll have that like and here's the jamie. This has been incredible discussion, powerful, so much packed in it, and I love your work, I love your way of being and it's my wish that more people experience your work, but that they do the work themselves and focus on on this way of being and defining high performance and building a positive relationship with their thoughts. When you do these things, folks, you're not only going to experience yourself as a powerful creator, but you are going to see and experience all the possibilities that the endless possibilities that you have inside of you, and you are going to win today. So thanks so much for tuning in.